


Why me Ashton, why me? (Lashton)

by LukeH_yourecute



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Bad Boy Ashton, Bad Boy Harry, Bad Boy Louis, Beating, Bullies, Bully Ashton, Child Abuse, Drummer Ashton, Enemy Lovers, F/M, Gay Ashton, Guitarist, Harm to Children, Hate, Insults, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Name-Calling, Punk Luke, Rape, Sad Luke, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sex, Sexual Abuse, Shy Luke, Tattoos, ashtonirwin, bullied, insecure, lukehemmings, scared, singer Luke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-05-24 13:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6155626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LukeH_yourecute/pseuds/LukeH_yourecute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke Hemmings seems to be one of the nerdiest people there are in his school. But is he really? Maybe he likes to get straight A's and is shy but isn't that normal for a seventeen old boy who gets hate from his own family and tries to make them proud?<br/>He has tried to be friendly towards everyone, but almost everyone laughed at him. The worst part is that he gets bullied because everybody thinks he is gay. But he isn't. His worst bully is Ashton Irwin. He is the popular football star of the school. The irony is that he himself is gay and nobody hates him for that. Ashton beats him up and calls him names which leads Luke into doing terrible things to himself.<br/>Many people are nice whenever they want him to do their homework and the kind person he seems to be, he obeys and does it for them.<br/>What will happen when he gets forced to be partners with is worst enemy. Will everything stay the same?</p><p>**Will involve smut**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Flashback and results

**Author's Note:**

> This could be triggering for some of you  
> I really hope you will enjoy it.

Luke

“Beep, Beep, Beeeeeeep”  
As I got woken up by my horrible alarm, I almost screamed in frustration like a normal seventeen years old would. It was a Monday morning and I already knew this day would be as bad as usual. I had come home late yesterday and I couldn’t really remember what I did as I arrived home. All I could remember was, walking into my brother making out with his slutty girlfriend.  
My parents probably didn’t come home yesterday evening and wouldn’t be home for quite a time. They were always working or screaming at me for being a disappointment. With one last glance at my phone, I got up and walked into my bathroom. I stretched and yawned once more. I looked down at me and realized I was still wearing my black skinny jeans. God dammit how did I forget about taken those off. I pulled my skinnies down and looked at the fading bruises on my shin and outer thigh and sighed. Why did they have to beat me up? I didn’t do anything to them but as usually they kicked me and beat me up. Friday I felt like shit and really nobody cared as I got beaten up in the middle of the hallway by my worst enemy and his friends. I took it because I was tired of defending myself. I got used to it over the years. I am not saying that this did hurt less than in the beginning but I stopped caring about my health a while ago. Suddenly a flashback from last summer came which I tried to avoid every time but I couldn’t stop it like usually.

I sat on our front porch with my guitar in my hand. It was a beautiful summer evening and the sun was about to set as I heard some guys from my school scream my name. I looked up and saw Calum and Michael. They were holding hands and were totally drunk. Calum had his head on Michael's shoulder. As they stopped they kissed. They came up to me and laughed. “Hey there, what are you doing with this guitar? Can you even play princess? You don’t look you could. Don’t you agree, Calum?” Michael spoke and looked disgusted at me like I was some moldy pizza piece. Calum looked uncomfortable and slightly soberer than Michael. “Mikey let’s leave. He has alright to play his guitar outside his house.” “But look at this faggot. He is so worthless and nobody cares about him, so why should I leave him alone?” Calum looked at Michael in disbelieve like he couldn’t really follow what the boy in front of him just said. “Michael what the heck, I know that you hate him but this is going way too far. Come on I will bring you home now before you get yourself into more shit. I am really sorry Luke for what he said.” I just nodded and looked down in shame. I couldn’t believe how bad this comment hurt my feelings. As I looked up I saw Calum dragging Michael away from my house. I sighed in relieve and started to play my guitar again. I played until the sun was completely set, the only light source was a little lamppost at the pavement in front of our front garden. I took my guitar and the blanket I sat on and moved to the lawn and sat down. I started to strum my guitar as I felt a tap on my shoulder. I shudder and turned around. Behind me was Calum Hood. “Hey mate. I am so sorry about Mikey. I really wasn’t expecting him to be so … so I don’t know what to say. I am really sorry. I know that it looks like I hate you but I really don’t. I don't get why they’re so mean towards you. And I am also so sorry for not defending you I don’t know why I don’t do anything while you get beaten up by the boys. To be honest I am scared myself. I hope you can forgive me some day. By the way, you can play really good guitar.” I looked at him in disbelieve nobody ever had spoken to me like I was a real human being. It was something new I must admit. “Thank you. It’s okay I don’t really care anymore who says what to me so you don’t have to apologize. Do you want to sit with me?” “I would love to.”

We sat there for almost 2 hours but then Calum got a call from his mom. He said goodbye and walked home. I went to bed with a good and bad feeling. I knew that Calum and I would never be friends and that as soon as I went to school again it would be totally the same. The weekend past and I was the least excited for school on Monday. As Monday morning came I grow anxious about school. I took the bus like usually and went into school. I went up to my locker and took out my books. Suddenly my locker door got shut and I got harshly turned around. A body shoved me into my locker and punched me in my face. I felt my cheek burn as I looked up I was met with green eyes. They had a sharp look to them and I realized that they belonged to Michael Clifford. The red head ripped me up by the front of my shirt and pulled me into the school restrooms. “Hello faggot. Now listen carefully. If you obey, I will be gently this time. What you saw Friday did never happen. I am not gay and I didn’t kiss Calum or did hold his hand. If you say otherwise I will come and make your life a living hell like Ashton does. I will be like him and you can finally kill yourself.” I nodded and he shoved me on last time and I fell to the ground. He kicked me in my stomach. It hurt like hell and I coughed. He kicked me a few times and left me crying on the dirty restroom floor. After a few minutes, I got up and winced in pain but walked immediately to my class. I got in a bit late but nobody cared. I sat down in my usual seat and listened to the teacher. Suddenly a little rock hit the back of my head and I turned around. Behind me sat Ashton Irwin he was smirking and holding a note. I quickly took the note and read it. “Hello faggot if you leave after school, your punishment will be even worth. You little worthless shit.” I got really scared and looked down nervously. I didn’t know what to expect.

The day passed and I got shoved into the lockers a few times but nothing worth. But I knew something bad had to come.

Then finally the memories ended and I looked at my wrist. Some tears were rolling down my cheek but I wiped them away. There were so many red lines. Some were deep and still red and some were fading. That day I started to cut again. I was clean for almost half a year but now I almost cut every day. I tried to kill myself one time but my brother Jack found me and since then he hated me. And I hated myself for everything. What Ashton did to me this day was even worth than Michael and let me tell you this was worth it. 

I felt numb like I broke. But I broke the day Calum and I talked. That night I knew everything was going to change once again. I looked up and pulled out a blade out of the top shelf. I sat down in the bath before I stripped down to my boxers and took a deep breath. I couldn’t stop myself from pressing the cold metal to my wrist. I pulled it over my skin and I immediately left a deep red line. It started bleeding and I pulled it over my wrist two times more before I went to the sink and cleaned myself up. It burned like hell but I liked it a lot. You could say I carved for the pain. As much as it satisfied me I couldn't stop my tears from rolling and I felt sick like I would throw up in a second but nothing was there to throw up. I felt useless now and the voice in my head told me to leave this world. My heartbeat was unbelievable fast and I could feel my blood rushing through my veins. I guess I have to wear a long sleeve sweater today. 

I left the bathroom to get a towel from my room. As I went back I turn on the shower and I finally took all my clothes off and looked in the mirror. I couldn't believe what I saw. I looked so fat, my tummy looked terrible. My appearance looked as chubby as always even a lot worth. With a sigh, I went into the shower and let the water stream down my body. I really hoped for the water to wash away my pain but it didn't work like usually. I looked at the clock and realized it was almost time for me to leave. The bus was usually leaving at 8 AM so I had almost half an hour left.

I got out of the shower and put a towel around my waist. Within seconds I got freezing cold and went back to my room. I would wear some black ripped skinny jeans with a band-tee but I never showed my really self. So I put on the blue hoodie and some gray pants. With a look in the mirror and a disgusting feeling, I left the room. I looked so horrible and it felt so wrong to wear this clothing but I was too scared, to show what I would love to wear. Now people were judging me a lot and I had the feeling that it would get even worse if they knew how I would normally look.

I got my backpack from downstairs I went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. As I passed the living room I could see my brother and his girlfriend kissing again on the couch. However, even though I was straight, I thought it was as disgusting as a rotten egg. I don't even know why people think I'm gay because I never said I was or neither confirmed that I was straight.

" Hey stop. Why you're leaving? I thought you were too scared to go to school. Has the fag chosen to be not a pussy and go like a man to school? Oh no sorry, I forgot you're less  a man than a lesbian." "Oh shut up Ben go and suck the face of your slut." I shouted and left. He's such an asshole but I wish I could have a brother that is nicer and actually tries to help. Jack left after he saw me self-harming and Ben was an asshole who sometimes takes me out to the club where he works. I went outside and walked to the bus stop. It was a nice warm summer morning in Australia and I didn't need a coat or a jacket. I looked down at my watch and realized that it was almost 8 a.m. It took me like 3 minutes from our house to the bus stop and a few more minutes for the bus to arrive. I went to the back, sat down in my usual seat and pulled out my headphones. I was one of the first students the bus had to pick up. While the ride to school I listen to some Blink-182, Boys Like Girls, Green Day and Good Charlotte. I love some good old alternative rock. So many people forget about these amazing band. Teenagers like me usually listen, on a daily basis, to solo artist like Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez or to bands like Little Mix.

The bus arrived at school and I got out. I pulled the hood of my hoodie up then walk to the entrance. Many people pushed through the doors and even more were in the hallways. I slowly made my way towards my locker. Arriving there I was already welcome to the first punch of the day. Looking up from the ground I saw these evil hazel eyes staring down at me. There he was the worst nightmare of mine ASHTON IRWIN. 


	2. Hell named school 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there again.  
> This is the next chapter I hope you liked the last one.

Ashton

“Babe come on wake up. You have to go, my girlfriend is coming soon.” I opened my eyes and looked into my affairs blue eyes. I had met him a few weeks ago and we agreed to be fuck buddies but I had grown some small feelings for him. He isn’t gay or bi either, he only needed someone to fuck because his girlfriend was away for two whole weeks. At the time I had gone into the bar where we met, I was desperate. He wanted to experiment and who am I to turn a good fuck down. We continued or “friendship” even though is girlfriend came home. And now I am laying here and it’s 5 in the morning. Trying to tell myself to end this stupid thing. “Listen, Shane, I know that was never a serious thing but I really need to end this. I hope you were not too disgusted while sleeping with a guy but I think your girlfriend does deserve your whole attention. It was a nice time with you and I know you know as well that this here has to end.” He looked down at me while I pushed myself up. “Thank you, Ashton, for telling me this. I totally agree. I really do love her and I never thought I would do something like this but you know sometimes things turn out wrong. I really did enjoy our little thing but I agree we have to end this. You will find someone you age soon.” He gave me one last kiss on the cheek. I got up and dressed into my black skinny jeans and the band tee from yesterday. “Ashton, if you want to you, can take one of my shirts. You don’t have to give it back to me. They most likely look better on you anyways.” I smiled and walked to his dresser and pulled out a long sleeved black Blink-182 shirt. I turned around and walked to Shane to give him one last hug. We hugged for a minute. I took my keys and backpack, walked to his front door and left his apartment. It felt good to finally leave this all behind even though the past weeks were great. Now I had time to focus on school again. I like going to school, but only because I am popular and the whole school loves me and admires me for being the football star of the team. People listen to me and then they don’t have to fear me. The worst part of going to school is that Luke Hemmings is in school. In the past, he was kind of cool but he changed over the years. I don’t really know why I hate him so much but all I feel towards him is pure hatred. My friends Michael and Calum say I love him deep down but I don’t believe them. But to be honest with you, it's some inside joke.  
My way home wasn’t too long and as I finally got back to my apartment, it was almost 5:45 a.m. I decided to get some breakfast and watched some Netflix before I had to leave for school. It wouldn’t matter if I was tired in class, every teacher loved me and never said something against me. And because I lived alone, nobody really cared if I am late home or up early. I went to my bedroom and changed my skinnies to some sweatpants, to get a bit more comfortable. Walking back into the living room I got a small snack from my kitchen. I didn’t eat much on daily bases. I don’t know why but I don’t feel hungry throughout the day. I would eat more two weeks before a game to get some more energy and some muscle energy but now I didn’t feel the need to eat now most likely because it was almost summer break here in Australia. I got a toast with vegemite and sat down on my couch. Turning on the TV I decided to watch some Walking Dead.  
I must have fallen asleep because as I opened my eyes it was almost 8 a.m. Time for me to get ready and leave for school. I went into my bathroom took a short shower, brushed my teeth and got dressed into new black skinny jeans and Shane’s black Blink shirt. By now it was 8 a.m. so I took my car keys and my bag. I left my apartment and locked the door. On my way down I wished Maddie, the old woman next door, a good morning and went to my car. I had to pick Calum up because he lived almost next door it took me only 3 minutes. As he got in he wished me a good morning and we rode to school in silence the only sound was my Green Day CD playing. Calum was quietly humming and I was tapping my fingers to the beat of my favorite song. After 10 minutes we arrived, I parked the car and we got out. “Ay mate, did you hear that Mrs. Allison has some partner work planned. She said it last music lesson. Maybe we get lucky and get to work together.” I looked at Calum as he told me with excitement. “Yes man that would be so great I don’t want to be partnered with some loser. Almost nobody besides you and Michael are good in music.” He nodded and we walked into school. I got greeted with some handshakes. Michael was at my locker looking down on his phone texting somebody. As Calum and I arrived he looked up and bro-hugged me and Calum. I don’t know what’s up between them but since last summer they act differently around each other. It’s kind of strange to see your best friends so uncomfortable around each other. “Hey Ashton mate, the faggot just arrived. Do you want to teach him his lesson now or after school?” I looked at Louis for a while but decided to take the chance. “I am going to now but I will go alone. See you later guys. See you in music Calum and Michael.” I left with a smirk. In the far back of the hallway could already see him. I went to his locker and waited for him to arrive and finally, the little fag was in front of me. I swung my fist and hit his cheekbone pretty hard. I felt a little bit sorry but at the same time, it felt so good. But today I felt so more guilty than I ever felt before. It almost hurt me as well to see him lying on the ground. But I pushed the feelings aside and looked down smirking. His blue eyes stared back at me. They looked so empty, emptier than usually. “Hello little princess. Did you miss me? I hope you didn’t forget about your open Monday punishment. It’s only the beginning. After school, you come to the gym like you usually do you understand me?” I looked down at the vulnerable boy. He nodded and tried to get up but I pushed him back down and laughed. I really felt bad for him this time but I liked to be in power over him. I turned and walked to my first class. English by Mr. Dawson and with the little princess this will be so much fun. We had almost every class together and I would always try to embarrass him and it almost works every time. Arriving in class I sat down in my usual seat far in the back. A few minutes later Luke arrived and sat down a row in fort of me. I smirked this will be so much fun.

 

Luke

  
I laid there on the floor and watched Ashton leave. It looked like he regraded to push me but as fast as it came this fast it left. I felt so empty as he pushed me down again and told me to meet for my punishment after school. I already knew what to expect from this. He left and I dragged myself to the restroom and looked in the dirty mirror. The bruise on my cheek didn’t look too bad but it hurt like hell. With a sigh, I left and walked to my first class with Ashton in it. On my way, I got dirty looks and some doughs pushed me into the wall and laughed. Finally, I arrived at class and sat down.  
After a few minutes, the bell rang and Mr. Dawson walked into class with a big grin on his face. Whenever he would smile, the lesson would be boring as fuck or would end with me being partnered with some dough. Last time he came into class like this, I had to work with Dennis, on of Ashton’s teammates. He is the nicest of Ashton friends but he let me do all the work and it took me almost the whole week to finish the stupid project. “Listen up class. Today we are going to write a story. But you get a partner and each group gets a different topic. And because I am the teacher, I am going to decide who works with who.” I groaned and looked down. I stopped listen and waited till my name got called but nothing happened. Suddenly Mr. Dawson called my name. “Luke Hemmings you have to work alone. I am very sorry but Alisha is ill today. I hope you don’t mind.” I was kind of relived. Whether I worked alone or with a partner wouldn’t make a big difference. I actually would have to do the whole woke alone. Mr. Dawson told us our topic and said we had to finish it at home if we wouldn’t be able to finish it this lesson. My topic was on dreams and hopes. I had to compare if my dreams from now had changed or stayed the same and whether they got more realistic over time or stayed unrealistic.  
It was hard to finally make the decision to write about my real dream and my real hopes. I started writing and while I wrote I got more and more ideas what I really wanted to do after school. “Luke could you read yours to me because you’re the only one without a partner and I would like to listen to what you wrote.” I looked up from my paper and blushed. The whole class was very noisy. I decided that nobody would hear me besides Mr. Dawson. I cleared my throat before I started reading. “Before I actually started to think about my dream and hopes, I was convinced that I always wished for good grades and the best education that I could afford. But I soon realized my dream to be a musician was still some part of me. When I was little I always dreamed about music and making a difference with my music. My dream now is to make a difference in the world even if it’s just a little difference by making some people happy. Dreams change over your life but they also stay in your heart. My dream is to start something big and to have a voice. Maybe music can help to do this if so I would be very glad because it was and is on big part of my life.  
I also hope people would get more accepting. You cannot choose where you from or who your parents are. That is why I hope people would love more and try to live their own life. You have to make the decision about your own life. You are your own person and absolutely nobody should be in power over your life and decisions.  
That is all I think I have to work on it some more. Maybe compare my dreams and hopes from my childhood and now some more.” I looked up and felt some eyes on my back but I didn’t dare to turn around. Mr. Dawson had some kind of grin on his face with a surprised look. “Luke to be honest with you, it was really good but you’re right, you have to compare it some more and also write a bit more about your musical dream. I would be very interested in what you would like to do. What kind of music job because the music industry is very big.” I blushed and looked down onto my paper. I heard a small laugh behind me and immediately knew Ashton and his friends had been listening the whole time. I could feel the embarrassment creep up to my cheeks even more. Suddenly Mr. Dawson yelled for us to pack our things and leave his classroom. As soon as I heard his announcement I grasped my things and was about to walk out of class, as Mr. Dawson stopped me one more time. “Luke I have a question, would you like to help a student of this English class. I really need a tutor for him. Someone like you, someone who is focused in class and knows how to write and understands what we usually do.” I was a bit astonished. Why did he have to choose me, nobody likes me, so nobody would listen to me. “I guess so but it really depends on who I would have to tutor.” He nodded and looked me directly into my eyes. “It would be Calum Hood. He was a good student but I have the feeling that he doesn’t really get, what he has to do. Would you agree on coming to my classroom at the beginning of lunchbreak?” I nodded and he wished me a good day. As I walked into the hallway I got ignored by many students. Arriving at my looker I could already sense the trouble. And I was perfectly right. As soon as I opened the looker door it got slammed shut. In front of me was Michael and some of his and Ashton’s friends but no Ashton around. I was surprised to say at least. “Well hello Luke. I heard about your little essay you wrote in English about your little dream. Are you really that stupid and think you would have a change in the music industry. Some little fag who nobody cares about and has no voice. I hope you die before you embarrass yourself and your family even more.” He laughed and high fived some guy called Harry. It hit me hard I couldn’t believe what I just heard. Did he just tell me to die? No Luke don’t cry he is stupid and has no idea. He doesn’t even know you so don’t give a shit about what he says. But I really couldn’t stop my tears from falling but they didn’t even notice. They were still too occupied with laughing at Michaels stupid comment. The Harry guy then pushed me into the wall and kicked me into my chin. I yelped and fell to the ground. Some guy kicked me in my stomach and whispered near my ear “die you faggot”. By now the tears were streaming down my face like a waterfall. In the corner of my eye, I could see a figure. Someone that looked pretty familiar, like Ashton. But the figure was coming near and near. He leaned down and pushed my hair out of my face but I couldn’t see who it was properly. Because my vison went black. Everything around me went black and I was gone for now. But the last thing I saw were some beautiful hazel eyes like Ashton’s but these were warm and full of concern.  
But what a great start of the week. I got beaten up within the first two periods and blacked out completely. I don’t think the day can get even worth from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.  
> Maybe I am able to write a new chapter within this week.  
> Bye love you guys.


	3. Hell named school 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter I hope you like it :D

Luke POV

As I opened my eyes, my sight was blurry and I couldn’t really make out where I was but then I realized that I was still laying on the floor and many people were looking down at me. I picked up my bag and pulled myself up to stand on my feet. Moving slowly to my next class, I realized I had all my classes with Ashton or one of his friends. But I didn’t even care since the accident from earlier. They had beat me up and they would do it again without any hesitation. The emptiness I felt earlier on was even worth and present. I could almost feel the cold inside my chest. My heart had been broken more than I could count and nothing had changed until the last summer. Whenever my heart got ripped into a million pieces, one piece got missing. No matter who told me that I was a failure, I now took it very personal. I couldn’t stand how people treated me. I felt so lonely and like I was nothing than a little piece of shit. Suddenly I realized I was about to enter the restroom as the bell rang. I groaned in annoyance as realization hit me I would have my next class maths with Ashton. I expected this lesson to be the bare horror because my seat was directly next to Ashton and Calum. They would throw either paper beads at me or take all my things away.  
I pulled up my hood and shambled to Mrs. Wilson’s room. The second bell rang just for me to be in time. Making my way as slow as possible to my usual seat I noticed both Calum and Ashton were already there and they were both occupied in reading and doodling into their notebooks. I sat down as quietly as possible to avoid any attentions from someone. As I sat down I noticed Ashton staring at me with pitiful eyes. I turned around to avoid his look and saw Mr. Wilson enter the room with a big stack of paper under her right arm. I smiled to myself because I was prepared for working alone on this, to me good looking, exercises. She sat the paper down and told us to work on the paper that she was going to pass around. To say that I was relieved would be an understatement. I was so glad to work on my own for the rest of the class. So I took the opportunity and started to work on my paper.  
10 minutes into filling out my paper a piece of paper landed in front of me. Confused I picked it up and saw my name written on the front of it. Carefully I unfolded it and read with even more confusion what was written on this little piece of paper. “Luke I am very sorry about earlier. I should have stopped them from beating you up but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. – Calum” I looked up and let my eyes travel to the boy on my left. He smiled small at me but lost it immediately. I knew that this could be some horrible prank and I also knew to not take this too seriously. I couldn’t stand my heart being broken on more time today but I knew that I couldn’t prevent myself from that. With a sigh I devote my attention back to my worksheet. Time passed and I had almost solved every problem as a paper ball hit the side of my face. I looked up to my right and saw a smirking Ashton who’s smirk almost fell as I looked him directly into his eyes. His eyes looked so mysterious and beautiful. Hemmings what the fuck? Stop thinking about your enemy’s eyes like that. I turned back to my paper and started to solve the next exercise as the next paper ball hit me. I tried to ignore it the best I could but he didn’t stop. Every 2 minutes a new ball would hit me in my face. This continued until the lesson was over. I took my time to pick up everything that was around my desk. I handed my finished exercises like usually in and Mrs. Wilson smiled at me like she did every time. She was a really nice teacher and very friendly to every student. She was my favorite teacher besides Mrs. Allison my music teacher. That reminded me that my next lesson would be music with Hood, Irwin and Clifford.  
Heading out of the classroom as the last student I turned into the hallway and walked up to my locker surprisingly nobody was waiting for me. I could take my needed things out without interruption. Looking down at my watch I realized I had some minutes left. So I made my way towards the restroom. I entered one stall and looked it. I sat down on the toilet and put my head into my head. I was so happy to know that this hell will be over soon enough. Maybe sooner as aspect. I felt the all too familiar itch on my wrists and rolled up my sleeve to look down on the still red lines from this morning. As I looked down and stroked over the lines I sensed the need for relieve. My eyes traveled down to my backpack and I bent down to look for the small metal thing that I needed now. But my actions got stopped by some on pushing open the restroom door. At first I didn’t recognized who the voices belong to. But then it hit me like a rock. Calum, Ashton and Michael.  
“Hey Cal have you done what I ask you to do?” it was Michael and I was able to hear Calum hum in agreement. “What are you guys talking about now? Did I miss something?” Ashton asked with clear confusion. “No everything is okay you didn’t miss something. But on another note I think we have to stop a little with hurting Luke. This is getting too far. I feel so guilty for hurting him and I also have told him that.” Calum confessed and I was surprised by the answer Michael gave him. “You did what and did he believe you? Don’t you think Cal that you only imagining to be sorry? Come on man its nothing the boy cannot stand. He does deserve this, doesn’t he?” I was shocked. Why was he such a bitch? I did nothing for him to hate me.  
“We can take this to our advantage. He does trust you now all you have to do is be his friend.” “Okay I think I can do something that easy. You were right I don’t feel the slightest sorry for him.” Calum laughed and I had the feeling this was a forced laugh but right now I didn’t care. I heard someone leave and as I was about to pull out my metal blade, I heard someone take a shaky breath. “Why do I feel so sorry for Calum? Why didn’t I stop Michael from treating Calum? Why am I such a bad friend?” I felt a bit sorry for Ashton but he didn’t deserve me sorry. He is the one who beats me up and calls me names so why should I feel sorry?  
I heard the door close and the bell rang as I was about to pull the blade over my wrists. I felt so tensed I needed relieve but I also couldn’t be late for music. My decision was easily made. I pulled my hood up once again and exited the restroom to head to my next class. I was barely out of the restroom as an all too familiar voice was heard behind me and all I wanted to do was ran away. “Hey Luke, what’s up? You have music too, am I right?” I nodded and Calum giggled a little. “Come on lets walk together. Have you heard we have to do some partner work today?” He sounded excited but he was totally acting. “I am very sorry Calum but I think it is better for both of us to keep our usual distance. I know that you don’t want to be friends or whatever you trying us to be.” He looked at me with confusion. “Luke I don’t know what you mean I am really trying to be friendly to you. It is nothing bad to do.” He sounded so convincing but because I already knew what he was trying I knew better than to fall for this bad act. “Calum listen, it’s really nice but please leave it.” I took my change and walked into our music room. It was still very empty but Mrs. Allison hadn’t arrived jet. I took my seat in the back, far away from everyone else. Nobody besides Calum knew that I could play an instrument. I wasn’t quite sure whether Michael could remember that day. I kept myself away from every part of producing music because I didn’t want someone to know but since English it wouldn’t be that easy. While everyone would make some music with Mrs. Allison’s help I would sit there and write my songs. I loved working on them because I could put every emotion into them and nobody would judge me since nobody would every see them or hear them.  
As I looked around in class I noticed that Michael and Ashton were nowhere to be seen. Suddenly everything around me got quiet and I could guess that our teacher had arrived. She was wearing her usual outfit: black skinny jeans with a pattern flannel. This time it was a red, blue and black pattern. She didn’t look like the typical teacher, she fit into the music scene and it was pretty clear what she listens to in her free time. In the beginning Mrs. Allison had told us she plays in a rock/punk band- exactly the genre I listen to every day. “A beautiful morning class. I hope you are all excited to do some partner work today. I have planned some cool things for us to do the next few weeks. By we I mean you and I hope you will enjoy this.” I sighed and hoped to get away with working alone. “Now let me tell you about your task. You and your partner have to write a song together and perform it in front of this class. Not only writing a regular song but you have to live the life of the other person for a week to get to know them. It depends on your topic. The difficult part is you have each a different topic to write about. I am going to …” she got interrupted by Ashton and Michael who came into class. They both apologized and sat down beside Calum. “Where did I stop? ah I remember. I am going to tell you now who works with who. Let’s start with Maggie and Ashton, Andre and Cat, Camille with Calum, Nat and Mike, Caroline and Izzy and Michael and Luke.” My eyes widen as I heard my name. I couldn’t be partnered with Michael this will be a totally disaster. But to my surprise Michael raised his hand. “Yes Michael what’s the matter?” “Could I please change partners? I would love to work with Maggie.” Mrs. Allison looked at him and nodded for him to tell her why we wanted to change partners. I was surprised I imagined him to be excited to make fun of me and trying to embarrass me but changing partners was unexpected. “I don’t know but for me my grade does depend on this class and Luke does nothing and Maggie and I love working together.” Then realization hit me, on one hand was he jealous of Ashton because he was working with his girlfriend and on the other hand it was pretty clear to me he used that against me because everybody knows how much Ashton hates me. “Okay Michael but I don’t like your reasons. Now Ashton can you please work with Luke?” He looked at her with wide eyes and shook his head rapidity. “Please no can I work alone? Luke and I don’t get along very well.” “NO no no no. Ashton you are going to work with him. Maybe you can teach him something.” Ashton sighed and looked at me with an evil look. I tried my best not to scream and I luckily I succeeded. I noticed Calum looking sad and jealous at Michael. Hmm maybe he still had feelings for Michael. Mrs. Allison clapped her and hands and Ashton came towards me. He walked slowly and I couldn’t stop myself from getting scared. He had an intimidating personality. His shoulders were broad but not as broad as mine, he clenched his jaw and I could almost see pure hatred.“I really hope you take this project serious because I am not going to work on this. I know you pretty much untalented and I don’t get why you want to work in the music industry if you aren’t even interested in music.” To say I was shocked would be an understatement. It hit me like a wrecking ball straight in my heart. I looked down in shame.  “Ashton, Luke you have to write about your feelings. What makes Luke, Luke and what makes Ashton, Ashton.” She left and I was left alone with my dark thoughts. I couldn’t imagine to open up to him. “Listen carefully fag. You come around mine and will follow me for one week but I don’t think that I will even care enough to get to know you, in the end, you have to finish the project part of your side on your own.” I looked down and nodded. Why was he such a bitch I didn’t do anything to get him that mad.  
The lesson passed by and I started to write down some song ideas. The final bell signalizing me to leave for my meeting with Mr. Dawson. This time I was the first person to leave I could hear Ashton yell behind me to don’t forget about our little meeting after school. Arriving at the classroom I knocked and opened the door. Mr. Dawson was sitting behind his desk and smiled at me. “Luke take a seat. I hope Calum will arrive soon.” As he finished his sentences. Calum opened the door and stepped inside. “Hello Calum please take a seat next to Luke. So let’s get straight to the point. Calum I think you need a tutor. You have almost failed every single test we wrote the last few weeks. Luke is one of the best students and I think it’s a great idea to have him tutor you. Are you alright with trying some tutoring?” “No not really but I will try.” Mr. Dawson nodded and Calum smiled at me. It felt so wrong and weird. The awkward tension grew every second and all I wanted to do was run away. “Okay Luke what do you think when do you want to get started?” I thought for some excuse but I couldn’t come up with something good. “Maybe Wednesday? I have some project to do. Is this alright with you Calum?” I looked at him and his smile turned into a little smirk but he nodded. Mr. Dawson let us go and I headed straight to my locker but once again Calum stopped me and pulled me back by my wrist. I almost yelp at the sudden pressure but managed to stay calm. “Luke do you want to eat with me lunch we have only half an hour left and I don’t think Mikey nor Ashton are free anymore.” “No thank you Calum I am going to the library. I am very sorry.” He sighed and he tried his best to not look relieved. “Okay but can you give me your number so I can text you, if I need some help in English before Wednesday?” I didn’t want him to have my number but what could I possibly do, with a mental sigh I gave him my number. As he left I went to the library. Inside the library were a few students. Some were studying for some test and some were making out in the far back. The librarian nodded and I smiled at her. Making my way to the back door I noticed someone entering the library. I speed up to get to the roof as fast as possible. The librarian gave me the key a while ago because she mostly felt sorry for me. I pushed open the door and closed it behind me. I sighed and looked over the school yard. When this year started I almost committed suicide by jumping from here but I got scared and saved by the bell. But since then I came up here almost every lunch break to do something nobody knows I do and nobody would ever expect me to do. I go up here and smoke. Sometimes I need a cigarette instead of my blade. Whenever I see someone else smoke I hate it and tell them it is bad for them but I myself do it not often but probably more than I should.  
I sat down on the floor and took out my cigarette and lighter. I played with it for a bit but put it eventually between my lips and lighted it up. I took a drag from my cigarette and inhaled deeply. The smoke filled my lungs and I exhaled the smoke. I could feel my muscles relax and felt immediately a bit more relieved.  
As I finished my cigarette I got up and walked around for a bit to get rid of the smell of smoke but didn’t succeeded very well. I took my cologne and put someone. It smelled fresh and to prevent that someone would be able to smell it on my breath, I took a mint. With one last deep inhale I once again opened the door and left the roof. With one last glance I noticed it was almost time for geography. Without Ashton, Michael or Calum. As I stepped back into the library I noticed Ashton sitting on a table in the very front. He was chatting with a brown haired girl. She must be a little younger than we and I couldn’t figure out why we would talk to a little girl. But I was happy that he didn’t noticed me leaving the roof. As fast as possible I made my way to the front door but as soon as I passed Ashton his head shoot up and he looked at me. I pretended to not see him and walked passed him with my eyes fixed on the floor beneath me. My way towards the door got interrupted by some arm pulling me in a corridor with bookshelves all around us. Ashton pulled me to the back and pushed me against a free wall. “Hello fag. I thought it would be better for both of us if you get half of your punishment now and the other half after school because you have to follow me around the whole day and I don’t want a limping faggot walking behind me.” His smirk got bigger as the first punch in my stomach resulted me to whimper. I bend down in pain but he pulled me up again. “No break for you. Come one be a man and take it.” A second, a third and a fourth punch hit me direct in the stomach. As he let go of my shirt I sank to the ground and cried silently. I whimpered and winced in pain. My stomach and head hurt so fucking bad. I couldn’t do anything. I coughed and some blood come up. The taste of blood was bad and I could have thrown up right there and then but Ashton knelt down and pulled me up and sat me with my back on the wall up. “No I am sorry for that I think I took it to far this time but you have to admit it you deserve it. Now I am going to leave and if you tell someone I will do something.” He left me crying in the back of the library. Why did he do this, if he thought it went too far? Why me Ashton, why me? Why didn’t you pick someone else? I couldn’t get up and couldn’t talk or scream. But I managed to get up however felt to the ground a second later. I couldn’t hold up my weight. The bell rung and I couldn’t do anything I cried and hoped someone would find me. 10 minutes passed and nobody came. My tears had dried by now but my stomach hurt like hell. But to my surprise Calum came by. I never got to know why he was there but I was grateful for him helping me. “Luke let me help you. Do you want to go to class or to the school nurse?” I coughed out class and he pulled me up. He laid one arm around my waist and with the other arm he pulled my arm up his shoulder to support me. Making our way to my class was hard and slow and entering the class was even harder because I had to walk alone. I thanked Calum as good as possible and limped into class my teacher gave me a weird look but said nothing. So I made my way to my seat in the back and sat down. I zoned out and didn’t almost noticed the work we had to do. I was glad as the bell rang and I was able to leave. But as realization hit me I broke down in the hallway. Nobody gave a shit about me but I knew better than laying here and getting Ashton mad. So I pulled myself up and walked to the backyard of the school. Waiting for me, Ashton and Michael were standing there with their back leaning against the big old tree.  
“Ashton look who we have here? Do we really want to go easy on him today?” “Mikey I think we don’t need to be as hard today because he got a piece of his punishment already.” “Okay I am going to leave because I have very importing meeting, it’s your honor today.” With that he left but didn’t passed the opportunity to push me to the ground. My ribs were still hurting from earlier on but no sound escaped my lips but Michael was laughing even louder. He scream a have fun and was soon out of sighed. I got up from the ground and waited for Ashton to move and do some horrible things. He pushed himself away and walked slowly towards me. He slapped me in my face not hard but my cheek stung immediately. “That was it for now. Now behave and don’t embarrass me. We have to go to a club today I need to pick up my drum kit and drumsticks. Follow, keep quiet and don’t talk to the people there. Got it?” I nodded and the cold feeling in my chest took over my whole body. I couldn’t feel the pain anymore and I didn’t care about Ashton’s so called punishment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys but I will not be able to update before Saturday. I am very sorry.


	4. Music and surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you will like this one.
> 
> Took me a little while to write this.

Ashton 

When I smacked Luke in the face I felt sorry. But what got me even more worried was his ocean blue eyes turned cold. I don’t know why I felt sorry but I did though I pushed the feeling away like I do. “We have to take my car. Come on I don’t have a lot time like you do. I have I life besides school.” He nodded and said nothing. As a reflex I rolled my eyes and started heading towards the school parking lot. Calum had already left that’s why I had not to worry about space for Luke and his endless legs. Unlocking my car I told Luke to sit in the back since I did not wanted to be seen with him. He took it and sat down in the back. His long legs were bent but he didn’t complain about this. To keep me entertained I turned up the radio and put my favorite Kings of Leon CD in and started the engine. We drove off, the only noises came from the radio and my quiet humming. Luke kept quiet the whole ride it was pretty relaxing I must admit. After 10 minutes we arrived at Music 4 U, the club I visited a week ago. They had a music store in the back and whenever I get the chance, I go there and play for some people. We got out of the car and I turned around to Luke who looked a little tensed. “Now Luke listen to me. We will go in there together because I don’t trust you with my car. While we in there don’t talk to me or someone else, got it? I will be gone for probably 5 minutes, you can sit at the bar but don’t mention you came with me, when someone might ask you. Have you understood what I told you?” “Yes Ashton. I am not stupid. I know that you don’t want me here. I can stay outside the club, then you don’t have to worry about your appearance.” I looked at him in surprise. It was the first time that he ever had talked back. “I don’t want you to run away or some stupid shit. Now come with me.” I almost screamed at him for something like disobeying but however he followed me inside.  
When we entered the club I was greeted my Andrea, the lovely bartender. “Hello Ashton, what are you doing here? I thought you wanted to focus on school.” I laughed and told her “I need to pick up the new drum kit and drumsticks. I will talk to you later.” I turned to Luke and told him to stay here and sit at the bar, while I would go and grab my things. He nodded with a vacant stare. As I left to the back store, Luke ordered something to drink, to keep him occupied during my ‘shopping’. Entering the store the smell of old records filled my nose. I got greeted by Coby who ran the store and the club as well. “Hey man. Ready to see your new baby? I think you will love it as much as I love my guitar.” We did our typical handshake and I laughed at his comment. He was really obsessed with his guitar and his wife almost left him because he wanted his guitar to sleep in their bed. “I hope so. I have to be quick today, I have brought some guy with me. We have to do some stupid partner work in music and I cannot stand him. But that is not the main problem. I don’t think that he even knows much about music. Besides I don’t believe he can play any instruments and we have to perform our song in front of our music class.” I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face in frustration. “You have my pity. I hope it will turn out great. If you need help you can always talk to me and I try my best to help you. But what is the worst that can happen, it is not like he is the biggest loser in school and you will be hated on for working with him, isn’t he?” I laughed a dry laugh and looked at him. “He is the biggest nerd in school everyone hates him. I even called him some names once but I am not proud of that.” He looked at me and we walked to the storage room. “Here you go Ashton. Want to try it?” I nodded and sat down. It was a beauty, almost better then I imagined it to be. I started to play a quick rhythm that stuck in my head the whole day. After a minute or two I stopped and smiled like a complete idiot. It felt so amazing to finally play the drums again. “Okay how much for this beauty and can you bring it to my rehearsal room?” “Let me quickly check. I think it was like 593,28 AU$.“ I nodded and walked with his to the reception to pay. “We will bring it to you tonight. I will call you before we come. Now let’s go and look after you friend. 20 Minutes almost passed.”  
As we walked back into the club, I came to a sudden stop. Next to Luke was a pretty girl with long dirty blond hair. She had one hand on his thigh and the other was under her chin. He was laughing at something but it didn’t look very real. She was smiling and defiantly flirting with him. Only now I realized that he was straight. Because of all this bullying, I totally forgot that he was actually straight. I shook my head and walked towards them. As I arrived I felt something strange inside my chest. It felt almost painful like jealousy but I couldn’t be jealous. Luke was flirting with a girl and I am not interested in girls. So why do I feel so jealous? Suddenly my attention was caught by Coby. “Hello, Luke what are you doing here? I thought you wanted to come back Friday evening?” said Coby to Luke, who looked surprised and embarrassed. I looked at Coby then at Luke and repeated my action a few times. “I came here with Ashton.” “You are his friend?” “Yes, he is my classmate and how comes that you two know each other?” I was inquisitive by now. “Um it doesn’t matter Ashton can you go to your car I want to talk to Anny a little more. I will come to your house okay?” I shook my head. “No Luke you are leaving with me. I don’t give a fucking shit, now come one. That is why I don’t like you.” I totally forgot about Luke and Coby’s relationship. As I stormed out of the club I could see Luke whispering something to Coby and kissing the girl on the cheek. Arriving at my car I slammed the door shut and started the engine. Why do I have to be partnered with such a stupid little shit? Luke opened the door and got into the car. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT YOU STUPID LITTE SHIT. WHY DID YOU DO THAT I HATE YOU SO MUCH. YOU REALLY NEED TO BE PUNISHED FOR THAT.” I screamed at him and put my hands around his neck and shook him. As soon as I realized what I was doing I let my hands fall to my sides and looked at him. I felt so guilty for doing this but as I looked into his eyes I couldn’t see any pain or emotions. His eyes were cold and lifeless. I only now noticed how close we were and how beautiful his face was. My eyes flickered to his lips and my eyes got caught up on his lip piercing. It made his lips look so kissable. I realized that I wanted to feel this fucking lip ring against my lips. I pushed the thoughts away and drove off. “Ashton I think I better leave. You will have a new partner tomorrow. I am going to talk to Mrs. Allison beside that you hate me I am not a helpful partner when it comes to music. It’s like you said, I am worthless and I don’t even know why I want to do something with music. I am not talented and you can better finish this song without my help.” I was shocked to hear that from the usually shy and insecure boy. He never said his opinion and he defiantly never talked to someone without stuttering or being embarrassed. “No you will help me and if you don’t I am going to blame everything on you.” “Okay I get it Ashton you really hate me but let me leave. I will make something up or you write your part and I write mine. Let’s make this easy and for you. You don’t have to be seen with me and you will most likely not lose your status in school.” He had his point but I didn’t want him to leave for some reason. I felt hurt as he said everything I told him earlier. Only now I realized what shit I told him. We arrived at my apartment building complex and headed towards my garage which I rented to practice with Michael and Calum.  
“Now listen we are going into work on some ideas if we finish a concept you can leave but if get almost nothing fished you are staying until we have something. And I really want to know what you can do to help this project you are not going to leave until I know.” “You do know that I have to follow you the whole week and you, me the other week and the project has to be finished after the summer holidays.” I nodded and unlocked the door I really hope that I don’t have to bear with him a whole week. It was 6:45 already and I felt tired. “Ashton stop you don’t have to bear with me.” I opened the door and pulled him inside. “NO NO NO you are not leaving me alone with this. I don’t want to get problems. Music is the only subject I am really good in and you’re not the one who destroys me this only chance. AND NOW GET YOUR ASS IN THERE BEFORE I LOSE MY SHIT.” I pushed him against a wall while I screamed at him. Maybe I lied to him about my grades but it didn't matter now. As soon as I stopped I had to catch my breath. My eyes met his and he stared at me. He looked so beautiful and I didn’t even realize that I got closer and closer to him. But suddenly I took notice of the situation and pushed myself away from him. I walked to the other side of the room and sat down on the couch. “Can we start now? I want to collect ideas.” He gulped visibly and walked towards me and sat down far away from me. “Do we start with your part? Do you want me to ask you questions?” I nodded and leaned back. By now I wasn’t quite sure whether I wanted him to stay a week with me. Maybe we could get away with only pretending. “Okay. What emotion do you feel right now?” I looked at him in surprise. “Anger, happiness and sorry.” He nodded and wrote some things down. While he wrote, I took my guitar and strummed a melody that fitted my current mode. “I have a question. What instruments do you play and what makes you happy?” The happy part took me off-guard and I had to think about this really hard. “I can play piano, drums, guitar and bass. Beside this, I sing and I don’t want to tell you what makes me happy.” He looked hurt but nodded. “I think we need to stop here. It’s already late and I don’t my parents to worry.” I nodded but already knew that they didn’t give a shit about him. His words made sense but his eyes were different. “Call them and tell them you staying over tonight. I want to finish a small melody for an example.” He nodded and pulled out his phone. I wasn’t surprised that nobody picked up. He left a voice message. I had to laugh but I wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t funny that even his parents didn’t seem to care where their child was. “Even your own parents do give a fuck where you are, how pathetic.” He turned around and pretended to search for something in his back. But I knew that this hit him hard. Suddenly his head shot up and I could see a single. “YOU’RE FUCKING RIGHT NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME. BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME WhAT I ALREADY KNOW. I KNOW IT’S SURPRISING FOR YOU. MAYBE I SHOULD FUCKING KILL MYSELF. YOUR LIFE, MINE AND SO MANY OTHER LIFES WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER WITHOUT ME. SO NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET’S FINISH THIS FUCKING SHIT BEFORE I FUCKING LEAVE.” I was shocked how someone that insecure could burst like this. My throat was dry and my mouth wide open. His broad frame was intimidating out of the sudden and his eyes were filled with so much hate and frustration that I felt scared. I never noticed how tall and how broad his shoulders were until now. I gulped and looked away. He made me feel so sorry for all the shit I said. “I am sorry I had no…” I couldn’t finish my sentences. Luke spoke calm and quiet. “No, I am sorry. Don’t tell anyone. I am so sorry don’t hurt me. I am so stupid. Can we please finish this and I am going to talk to our music teacher.” He was really sorry but to be honest I was so worried now. He was scared that I would hurt him. It made me feel so bad. “Okay, Luke I am not going to hurt you. I think we need a happy melody.” I picked up my guitar and play a catchy riff. While I played Luke wrote something down. It looked like some riff. He turned it around and mentioned for me to play. It looked good and some kind of easy. Once again I was surprised. I never knew he could write something like this down. While I played I noticed Luke humming. I had to admit his voice wasn’t that bad but I would never admit that. Finishing the riff I put my guitar down and looked at him. “It was good but we have to improve this. Now let’s stop for now. It’s the best if you leave now. I will bring you home. Don’t make something out of this. We are not friends.” He nodded but I could see fear in his eyes and this got me thinking. Maybe it would be better if he would stay here tonight or me at his. “Luke I think it is better if I come with you this week and you with me next week.” He nodded and we left. I looked the door and walked with him to my car. I didn’t know why I was so friendly towards him. We sat down in my car and he told me his address. It wasn’t that far from here and it took us barely 10 minutes. As we got out the house lighted up and the front door got slammed open. A middle-aged woman walked out the door or you could say staggered out. She was drunk or on some other drugs.  
“Hey fag where were you? We thought you were finally gone and who the fuck is this? He looks hot you don’t deserve him. Now get your ass inside your punishment is waiting for you.” I looked at him and he put his head down. “I think it’s better for you if you leave now.”  
Should I leave him or drive back. I was unsure but I turned around and walked towards my car. Luke walked away and I could hear the woman shout. “Luke come on it will only get worse. You got yourself ten slaps with the leather belt already. Every minute that is passing I will add one.” Should I really leave? I opened the door and put my foot inside the car.


	5. Did this really happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry that I took so long but I wasn’t able to get my thoughts together.
> 
> I don’t know when I will be able to update because school starts soon and I will be pretty busy with this.  
> I really hope you like this chapter. This could be a bit hard to read please be careful while reading and please keep in mind this is all fiction.

Luke POV

I turned around to see Ashton getting inside his car. I don’t know why but I felt betrayed. I should have already guessed he wouldn’t give a shit about me, so why would he stay? My emotions came back and I felt so scared. I knew what was coming it wasn’t the first time I got beaten up with the leather belt anyways. My parents did it so often when I was little and as soon my brother Jack moved out it got even worth. They once locked me up in the basement and didn’t let me out for a whole week. I got no food only water out of the old rusty tap. My parents had let me out and beat the hell out of me. Many times they called some friends of them and let them watch. The woman who Ashton saw wasn’t even my mother she was a friend of my mother. I had met her before and I could tell she was a bitch like my mother and father.  
With one last glance I saw Ashton shutting the door behind him. I looked him in the eyes through the window and could see hesitation. My eyes watered slightly and I begged for him to come back. But he looked down and with a hardening countenance. All hope of rescue left me and I became cold again. I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away. Straitening my shoulders I walked towards the door. Maggie, the woman, laughed and pulled me in. My face was blank as I looked over to my father. He was smirking and had his belt in his hand. The whole room smelled of alcohol and weed. Maggie pushed me closer to my father until I could smell his breath. “Look Luke not even your friend cared enough to stay with you. I bet he isn’t even your friend, maybe he beats you up and let me tell you one thing, you deserve to be beaten up. You are such a failure you faggot. Now get on your knees.” That was something kind of new or should I say something he hadn’t done for quite a while. I got on my knees and Maggie pulled my shirt up, revealing old scars on my back and my tattoo. I heard a gasp behind me and knew she had seen my tattoo. Nobody knew that I had many tattoos and only a few were now showing. “You faggot got tattoos, I recon you cried like a baby while getting them done. You are such a baby you will never be a real man like your brothers.” My mother spoke from the kitchen and my father nodded in agreement. “Now little Luke tell me, did it hurt you?” I nodded even though it was a lie. It didn’t hurt as much as the punches I get during the day. “Look Liz what we have raised a little cry baby. Do you think he deserve to be handled gently?” “I don’t know let’s start easy on him.” I only could see my father nod. He called someone to come in. The next thing I noticed was to three men coming in and sitting down on the couch. My mother left and so did my father. Maggie was staying behind me smirking. My parents grabbed their jackets and walked out of the backdoor. “Have fun Mag. We will be back in about… we don’t know. Anyways have fun.”  
The three men smirked at me and got up. As the first hit met my head, I looked down and some hot liquid ran down my back. I screamed at the sudden pain. All three laughed. One pushed me onto the ground and stepped on my hands. The pain on my back got even worse and I could feel the hot wax ran down my spine. I screamed at the tops of my lungs. The tallest pulled down my jeans and the next thing I felt was the leather belt hit my skin. A high-pitched cry left my lips. The slaps came in very fast. Two of the men sat back down and pulled down their pants. One got up and palmed himself in front of me. What should I do? I don’t like this. This had happened a few times before even my father tried to rape me once but he got interrupted by Jack my older brother. He did pull out his cock and put it in front of my mouth I refused to open up my mouth. He grabbed my jaw and pulled me up to look him in the eyes. His cock in one hand he tried to force my mouth open but he couldn’t go any further because out of the sudden someone yelled. Everything went quiet the only sound that filled the room, where my sobs. Everything went by so fast and he pulled up his trousers and I quickly pulled my shirt over my head and pulled up my pants.  
“What are you doing to him? Leave him alone!” a dark and angry voice yelled. Ashton, how? I thought he had left. 

 

3rd Person

As Ashton was about to leave he closed his eyes as he could see Luke’s last expression. It was so broken and scared and what did Ashton do? He looked down and shut out all his emotions for the venerable boy. Why did he do this? He could see how scared he was. Ashton sighed and rubbed his hands in frustration over his face. He hit the steering wheel in anger and banged his head on it. “Why Ashton? You’re so stupid. He needs your help and you sit here. Did you really consider to leave him alone when his parents want to beat him up? Yes.” He got out of the carafter the car from Luke's drive way was gone and looked over to the house where Luke got pulled in only a few minutes ago. He made his way slowly towards the door. He wanted to knock but he could already here Luke’s screams. His heart broke more and more as the screams continued. He pushed the door open to his surprise they hadn’t even locked the door. Ashton stood thunderstruck in the doorway, he didn’t move or said anything, and he even held his breath. The scene in front of him was so wrong. Wrong in every single way. A screaming Luke on his hands while a woman poured hot candle wax over his back. But the woman was covering his now small body. All the broadnis from earlier was gone. Three men were around him. One was about to hit him again with a leather belt. Another one stood in front of Luke with his cock in his hand. He tried to push his mouth open but Luke refused to. The other one was on his phone. He didn’t even payed attention to the others. The first two slaps hit Luke’s ass but then Ashton shook his head and fell out of trance. He yelled to stop and everything got quite. Everybody turned around and looked not scared at all. The man with the pulled down trousers covered himself up. The one with the phone was the first one to laugh. Luke was shocked but couldn’t do much. The one with the belt had moved away from him and Luke was finally able to move away. And that was exactly what he did. He scooted back until his back hit the soft couch. Everything hurt like hell. His ass and his back, both burned like hell and the shirt wasn’t helping at all. “What are you doing with him and where are his parents?” “They not here. I am their maid. They don’t even know this men are here but Luke likes this. He is fine with it, aren’t you Luke?” Maggie questioned Luke, who only sat there with his head down. Ashton was now ready to break everyone’s neck, he couldn’t believe that this people used the opportunity to abuse Luke. He did hope that Luke’s parents would come home soon again so he was able to tell them about what had happened. He thought Luke's parents needed to know how terrible the maid had been to Luke. “GET OUT NOW. I WILL TELL HIS PARENTS WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE OR I WILL CALL THE POLICE WITHOUT HESITATION.” The three men left but shot Luke an angry glance. Ashton was so angry. His head was red and he ran towards the sobbing Luke. But Ashton got concerned what he saw on Luke’s wrist but he wasn’t sure if it was real or only his imagination. He couldn't get a second glance because Luke pulled his sleeves down as soon he realized Ashton starring down on his wrists. “Hey Luke please look up. I will call your parents alright?” He looked up and Ashton could see his fearful cold blue eyes. The door behind them got shut. Ashton pulled Luke up and sat him down on the couch. “Ashton please don’t call my parents I don’t want them to see this. This has to stay a secret between us okay. Believe me it will get even worse if they get to know what happened. If you want to you can leave now. We can continue our project tomorrow if you would like to.” Ashton stared at Luke in disbelieve. How could someone that got almost raped be so calm and didn’t even want his parents to be home. “No Luke I am not leaving you. I’m not your best friend, fuck I am even you fucking bully but I am not leaving you now. I have a heart even if it’s hard to believe. But I will promise you not to tell your parents. I am staying here tonight and I don’t fucking care if you don’t want me too. I am staying.” It took Luke off-guard to hear something like this from Ashton but he was relieved to not stay home alone like usually. “Okay I will take a shower if you want to you can sleep in my bed I will the couch upstairs.” Luke got up and winced at the pain but capped a straight face. Ashton followed Luke upstairs, who showed Ashton the room where he could stay. “Luke I don’t want you to sleep on the couch. Take your bed like usually. I will take the couch alright.” Luke nodded and walked into the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and stripped out of his clouth. Pulling down his pants, the missing tattoos appeared. He looked over his naked body. The red lines from the belt were visible. With a sigh he took out a new blade. He didn’t even care about Ashton who was right next to him in the other room. Luke turned on the shower and got in. He let the hot water run down his back. The cold blade in his right hand looked so inviting. He let the sharp blade run teasingly over his already sore wrist. It didn’t break the skin and something inside him stopped him from pressing it down. Yes he could have marked his skin more but he didn’t want to like usually. It could be the thought of Ashton in his bedroom but he didn’t know. He opened the shower curtain and threw the blade out. He washed the wax carful off his back. A small hiss left his lips in the process but he didn’t care. After he was finished washing his hair he stepped out of the shower. One problem he only now realized was that he forgot his cloth. With only a towel around his chest to cover up his tattoos and scars, he got out of the steaming bathroom. His hair still dripping wet, he entered the room with caused Ashton to look up from the spot on Luke’s bed, where he deiced to sit down. He wasn’t sure why but he immediately turned his gaze way from him. But Ashton could tell from his short glance that the boy he bullied a lot looked so sexy. Even though only his back was facing him. But Ashton got soon very worried. Not only had he noticed fresh scars from today on his shoulders, no there were plenty more. Next to one scare was a tattoo of a black heart. A realistic looking heart surrounded by chain and underneath was a lifeline but the eruption didn’t start until it past a stave with a clef. The lifeline eruptions were not steady and were unfinished, it wasn't big, it only coverd one half of his shoulder blade. Ashton was surprised to see such a meaningful tattoo and that got him started thinking. It looked like there were more tattoos but Ashton couldn't believe that he had more. However he got interrupted by Luke. “Ashton would you like to have a shower?” “No thank you. Is it alright if I am showering tomorrow morning?” Luke nodded, “and Luke I am going to lay down on your couch now.” Turning only Luke flashed him a small smile and went back into his bathroom to tidy up everything. Ashton sighed immediately and laid down on the couch. The smile wasn’t real and he knew exactly why. He closed his eyes and tried to get the image of Luke’s scarred back out of his head. It didn’t took him long to drift into some start of sleepiness. He heard the door closing and some shuffling but didn’t react to it.  
Luke on the other side of the room couldn’t believe that Ashton had helped him. He wished his secret would still be hidden but he couldn’t change his stupid life. Ashton looked peaceful as he slept. He did turn around and Luke noticed now that Ashton hadn’t a blanket nor a pillow and was wearing nothing but boxers. He admired his body and tried to catch some sleep. It didn’t took him long to fall asleep but the nightmare came as soon as his eyes closed.  
He was dragged along a small country road in the middle of nowhere. His arms were bleeding so did his nose. His leg did hurt and his sight was blurry. The only thing he noticed was a dark house and the all too familiar figure. His father and the three guys from today. They laughed and Luke got pushed inside the house. They pulled his cloth off and pushed him on his knees. His father and the three men were suddenly totally naked. He couldn't look at them and he screamed everything went back to black and he sudden felt someone behind him. He looked up and could see the man from earlier. This time he was about to stick his dick into his ass. Luke screamed as he felt a sting. He tried to get away as the man pushed himself into Luke but the other two held him tight. His father was laughing and counting money. Luke screamed, tears streaming down his face and suddenly he felt someone shaking him. The men started to fade and his vision got black again. As he opned his eyes he was still screaming at the tops of his lungs. He felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched. Luke tried to get away until he heard the familiar voice of Ashton. “Hey Luke calm down. This was only a dream. Nothing is going to happen.” “I am I am sorry for waking you up. I-I…” He got interrupted by a sob escaping his lips. The tears didn’t stop and he couldn’t steady his breathing. “Luke it’s okay. We need to get up soon too. Now do you want to talk about it?” He shook his head and Ashton sighed, took a seat next to Luke in his bed and pulled him into a hug. It felt nice and scary at the same time. All he did to the boy was to be mean and now he was holding him like they were best friends. “Luke close your eyes for a bit and calm down you have one hour left then its 7 am. I will take a shower now.” Luke nodded and pulled away from Ashton.  
Ashton took his time to think. What should he do with Luke and whether it would better for both of them if they would change partners? But Ashton had the feeling he needed Luke as much Luke needed him. The only problem was Ashton didn’t know how to act around Luke in school now. With a sigh he stepped out of the shower and put a towel around his waist. As he left the room to ask Luke if he could borrow some boxers he nodded, Luke’s sleeves had slide up a bit. But he couldn’t really see anything. With a glance on the clock over Luke's desk, he noticed that only 15 minutes had past. He walked over to Luke’s bed. “Ashton you can take some boxers out my dresser.” Ashton stopped and smiled at Luke before he moved over to get some boxers. “Do you also want to borrow a shirt?” Ashton was unsure because he didn’t want to look different than usually. “No its fine.” But Luke did noticed Ashton’s hesitation. He sighed and got up from his bed and walked over to his dresser. He pulled out a band tee that was a tight fit on him and gave it to Ashton. Luke escaped a small laugh as he saw Ashton’s wide eyes. “I know shocking that a stupid ugly failure like me has clothing like this.” “Do you mind me asking why you never wear things like this?” Luke shook his head. “I don’t like them. My parents brought them for me because they thought I would fit in better.” Ashton wasn’t quite sure why he didn’t really believe what Luke said but he took it and nodded. Luke went into the bathroom to take a shower. Ashton changed immediately and waited for Luke to finish.  
Luke on the other hand was looking over himself in the mirror and was close to tears. He pulled out the blade and cut deep. Not to deep but deep as usual. A small sob escaped his moth and he was glad he had turned on the shower before. He put a bandage over his cuts and hoped they would stop bleeding soon. He changed into a red sweater and it felt so wrong and the grey cargo pants made it worse. As he got out of his room he stopped because he heard the doors downstairs shut.  
“Ashton do you want to have breakfast. I can make you something and you can leave after this. Like this you will not be seen with me.” He looked at Luke with pity but nodded. Luke walked downstairs and was greeted with his drunken mother. “Mother I have a guest over.” His mother laughed and stumbled into hers and her husband bedroom. Ashton followed Luke into the kitchen and Luke heated up some waffels. Ashton took two and waited for Luke to grab some too. But Luke sat down with only an orange juice. “Do you not eat in the morning?” Luke shook his head and Ashton shrugged and ate his waffels. “Thank you Luke. Do you want to have a ride to school?” Again Luke shook his head and continued sipping his juice. “I will go and tell Mrs. Allison to change partners. I am sorry that you had to see me like this. If you want to you can leave me now.” Luke couldn’t bring himself to look at Ashton. Don’t get him wrong he does not hate Ashton and is also very grateful for his help but he couldn’t get rid of the feeling he would be hurt a lot worse. Maybe Ashton would stop hurting him but what if his friends would get even angrier with him. “Please Luke I am sorry for you. I will leave around 7:45 am.” Luke nodded again and Ashton looked down at his watch. It was currently 7:20 that meant they had a lot more time. Ashton got an idea. “Hey Luke mind telling me why you have a tattoo on your back?” “I thought it looked cool and was something different to my normal boring self.” Ashton asked him whether it had a deeper meaning to it but Luke shook his head. But something told Ashton that he was lying to him. This boy might look boring but was pretty mysterious. But Ashton would never admit this to anybody. “Luke I think I am going to leave now. But you have to promise me that you will keep it to yourself that I stayed here. I don’t like you but I don’t hate you got this.” Luke nodded and was a bit surprised how fast Ashton would get the asshole state so quickly. Ashton got up and asked Luke if he could have his notes from yesterday to copy them. Luke only nodded and got up. As he came back down he gave Ashton his notebook but he didn’t realized that he had given him his textbook by accident. Ashton thanked him once again and left Luke alone with his abusive parents. But Ashton didn’t know about them abusing Luke. And as he left he thought everything will be back to normal pretty soon.

Ashton drove to school and waited for his friends to arrive. Grasping a cigarette out of his bag, he noticed the notebook Luke had given him. It didn’t look like the one he had brought with him yesterday. But Ashton shrugged it off. He lit his cigarette and took a long drag of it. It didn’t take long for Michael, Louis and Harry to arrive, the only one missing was Calum. Nobody was concerned about him not being here until Ashton noticed he never told Calum he wouldn’t pick him up today. As he checked his phone he sighed in relieve. Calum had already texted him Ashton didn’t have to pick him up today. “Hey Ash, how was your evening yesterday with little Lukey? Was he as bad as you thought?” Ashton cringed at the memories. “Yes I guess the boy is good at nothing, but I don’t want to get a bad grade only because he is too untalented. I am following him by the way so I don’t know if I am able to be alone. He seems to be someone who likes to take work seriously.” All of them laughed and Ashton face-palmed himself mentally. Why was he such an ass? “Hey guys, did I miss something?” Calum yelled to energetic for this early. “Calum, Ash only told us how untalented Luke is.” Harry told the breathless boy and slung his arm around his shoulder. Michael on the other side of the group looked at Harry with jealousy. But it soon wanished as his girlfriend came and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I never have seen them properly kiss in public but I didn't really care. Ashton thought to himself as he watched the scene in front of him.

As Ashton had finished his cigarette all of them got in and went straight to their locker. The time passed and the hallways got more crowded by any minute. Ashton hadn’t seen Luke arrive just now but would not be surprised if he would show up anytime soon. The bell for the first period rang and Ashton had History with some of his friends. Luke was usually in his class aswell but Ashton couldn’t see the boy. Without Luke, the lesson went by pretty slow. Ashton blamed it on Luke because he would usually annoy the shit out of the boy but today he didn’t even appear. Ashton was concerned but he shrugged it off pretty fast.

The next lesson would be gym for Ashton and Luke as well but Ashton decided to skip gym to hang out with the guys. Calum and Michael had a free period now. Ashton walked towards the back yard of the school where almost nobody went anyways so nobody would be suspicious. As he arrived he couldn’t believe his eyes. Calum was pressed against a tree by Michael. It looked like they were kissing but he couldn’t make it out from his spot. As he turned around to look if someone was anywhere to be seen, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Luke was walking to school with his head hung low. Not only did Ashton see the boy, Harry who suddenly appeared next to Ashton did as well. Harry ran towards Luke and pulled him with him. Luke couldn’t believe what had happened. Why was he dragged my Harry, where was he going and most importantly what was going to happen? Did Ashton tell the boys where he was yesterday? No Luke doubted he did. Harry pushed him to the ground as soon he reached Michael and Calum. Both friends shirked and jumped apart. Michael looked rather annoyed by Harry. “Look who we got here. Did he really thought he could come late without consequences?” Harry laughed and kicked Luke who yelped at the sudden pain. Luke didn’t know what to do. He landed directly on his back and the pain shot immediately through his whole body. The boys around him laughed but not as much as usually. Ashton on the other hand didn’t know what to do. He wanted them to stop for some reason but nor did he want to look like he cares about Luke. He made his way slowly towards the boys. Michael was the first to notice him. “Hey Ashton. Why don’t you help us?” “No Mikey I need him and if I beat him he might tell Mrs. Allison. I would get in so much trouble.” Harry laughed and said with full on sarcasm “Oh come one he would never have the guts to tell someone. And if, we will make sure he will keep quiet.” Everyone around Luke could see Ashton consider what Harry had said. Luke immediately knew that Ashton hadn’t changed at all. He closed his eyes as he saw Ashton bending down. He felt Ashton hot breath at his ear and wanted to scream in pain already but nothing came. What Ashton said took him by surprise.


	6. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I will try my best to updated pretty soon.

3rd person POV

  
Everyone around Luke could see Ashton consider what Harry had said. Luke immediately knew that Ashton hadn’t changed at all. He closed his eyes as he saw Ashton bending down. He felt Ashton’s hot breath against his ear and wanted to scream in pain but nothing came. What Ashton said took him by surprise.  
“Please stay quit and move your head as soon as you see my fist. Please try to look like you passed out.” Luke closed his eyes because he wasn’t sure about Ashton’s offer. But as soon as he opened his eyes again, he looked into beautiful pleading hazel eyes. Ashton noticed a small nod. Then Luke could see Ashton’s fist coming very close towards his head. As soon as he felt cold air against his cheek he immediately turned his head. He shirked and closed his eyes. A second later he could hear laughing and congratulations. “Ashton that was a great punch. You knocked him out. Wow, I cannot believe how weak he is.” It was Louis. All turned around and looked at him. He suddenly had appeared next to Harry. “Harry and I need to go, we have to go to the principal office. He expects us for causing trouble yesterday.” Harry only nodded and followed Louis inside school.

Calum was the first to break the silence. “Guys what should we do with Luke we cannot let him lay here all day.” Ashton wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t want Michael nor Calum to realize that Luke was still awake. “I think it’s okay if we let him here. Some teacher will eventually find him,” said Michael. “No guys I will take care of this. If he gets found by a teacher, they will suspect something and I cannot afford another warning.” Calum and Michael looked at each other and nodded. “We will see you in music. Don’t do something too serious to him”, said Calum with a worried expression. Both left a relieved Ashton behind. Luke, on the other hand, was pretty desperate to get up. “Luke you can get up now. But so you know, you own me something for saving you.” Luke only nodded because his chest hurt too bad to say something. Not only did Harry hurt him, his parents got very upset at him. But nobody needed to know about this. “Thank you. What do I have to do to make up for this?” The first thing Ashton thought about was something he never thought he would think. He thought about a kiss. The second this flew through his mind he let it go. But he had the perfect plan. “I want you to sing our song in front of the class. You also have to help me and you will not tell Mrs. Allison. You will follow me until I go to bed and that is it. I will not help you with questions nor will I talk to you while you follow me only if it's important for the project. You got it.” Luke wasn’t really surprised, but he couldn’t believe how mean Ashton was. He couldn’t sing in front of the whole class. Everyone would laugh at him. “No Ashton please don’t make me sing in front of the whole music class. I cannot sing and it would be the worst. You cannot make me do this. I will do everything but not sing.” Ashton laughed because he already suspected Luke to say something like this. He shook his head. “No you have to sing and nothing will change my mind.” To be honest, Ashton had so many things in mind, he could make Luke do for him. For example be a good fuck for him but he wasn’t sure if he would ever want this stupid boy near him. Ashton shook his head again to get rid of the imagination a half-naked Luke underneath him. “No please I cannot do this.” Luke couldn't stand this. He would do everything. Everything. But Ashton was so cold and said no. Luke finally got up and was about to leave but Ashton grabbed his wrist. He almost screamed in pain but kept quiet. “Listen. We will go to my car and we will stay there until next period begins. I don’t want you to be seen awake.” Luke only nodded and both boys walked towards the car. Luke’s green shorts were dirty and he wished for his blade and his pretty black skinny’s.

As they walked towards Ashton’s car, Luke couldn’t stop staring at Ashton’s butt. It looked so nice. No Luke what are you thinking about. He couldn’t believe himself. He thought his worst enemy had a hot ass. Luke was sure he wasn’t gay but he realized that he thought about Ashton a lot and also had dreamed about him. But he would never admit he did. Arriving at Ashton’s car Luke climbed into the backseat. The time passed and no one said something. Ashton thought about the strange feelings he had for Luke and what they meant and Luke tried to figure out if he only needed to hook up with some random girl to get rid of his feelings for Ashton. He came to the resolution he could text Anny from the club. The faded ringing snapped them both out of their thoughts. Luke got out of Ashton’s car immediately and walked fast towards school. Ashton watched him leave and was relieved that he hadn’t looked at Luke’s ass the whole walk. As soon as Ashton could see Luke enter school, he took a deep breath, shook his head and got out.

Luke walked towards music and could already feel the looks he got. Usually, they would have art but his teacher was gone until Thursday so they changed Music and Art for this week. Because of this stupid change, Luke had to bear with Ashton two days in a row. He entered his classroom and sat down in the back where he usually sat. 5 minutes passed and Ashton entered class right behind followed Mrs. Allison. She looked not as happy as she did the last lesson. To Luke’s surprise, none of Ashton’s friends followed. Ashton, on the other hand, expected to be alone in this class and he also didn’t mind at all. Ashton took a seat directly next to Luke. Ashton wasn’t quite sure why but it was like he needed the boy next to him. Nerveless he reminded himself that it was only for the project.  
“Good morning class. Today we will continue to work on your projects. If you have questions, don't be afraid and ask me. If you need some help ask the others for some advice. If you want to you can use the other music rooms or the instruments. Now class lets' start.” Luke turned around to Ashton. As he turned fully around, he could see Ashton starring at him. For some reason, Luke liked the look Ashton gave him. His eyes were roaming like they were searching for something and indeed Ashton was searching for something. He felt these weird feelings again and he wasn’t sure why. Luke looked to him like a normal guy a nerdy guy but this time he had something glowing to him. He looked sad to Ashton and his whole personality seemed to change a bit as soon as Ashton helped him. What worried Ashton the most was the fact that Luke looked good to him. Ashton got snapped out of his thoughts as soon as Luke started speaking to him. Nerveless Ashton immediately stopped listening because Luke’s lips caught all his attention. To Ashton, they suddenly looked so kissable. “Hey, Ashton are you even listening? We need to work, you want to have a good mark and I don’t want to sing in front of class a terrible song. But I wouldn’t mind passing the opportunity.” Luke couldn’t believe that he talked to a blushing Ashton. He, Luke fucking Hemmings, made Ashton Irwin that popular boy in school, blush. “No Luke you are going to sing in front of this class as a thank you that I saved you today. Now get me a guitar.” Luke was a bit sad that Ashton was mean again but of course he hadn’t expected something else. He knew what kind of person Ashton was by now. Luke got up and walked towards the instruments and grabbed a guitar. His eyes were burning a bit as soon he felt the wood of the guitar and he wished he could play this beauty in front of Ashton but he was sure that this wasn’t a good idea. He shut his eyes real quick and bit down on his lightly quivering lip.  
Ashton on the other side of the room watched Luke carefully. Something about this boy made Ashton feel sorry for all the pain he caused. Even if Luke would never admit it, he was hurt by the mean comments, Ash knew what he had done and how he made him feel. Ashton could see a broken Luke and Luke himself wasn’t able to see it. Luke had never seen himself as a broken boy, he only saw the problem that made everyone angry and annoyed. Luke only saw the failure that everyone said he was. Luke only felt worthless and he thought he had deserved to slowly die. To Ashton it was clear but he didn’t want to admit it to himself and he wouldn’t do anything as long as he hadn’t to.  
Luke returned with the guitar and passed to Ashton. Ashton took it but stopped in his movement because Luke’s sleeve had scooted up a bit. To Ashton’s surprise, it was a black long sleeved shirt with an all too familiar logo of a band on the sleeve he wore underneath the red cotton pullover. But this was defiantly not what confused Ashton. Luke wore underneath his shirt many bracelets. Ashton wondered why he wore It like this and didn’t pull his shirt up to show them. “Ashton please stop starring this is really creepy.” Ashton turned his head toward Mrs. Allison. The woman didn’t wear her usual smile. She looked a bit mad and also disappointed. “Ashton and Luke I have to talk to you. A student was looking at a video where you were hitting Luke and some friends of yours were also laughing at Luke’s well-being. I really thought you would try to get along.” Luke was shocked and could also feel Ashton starring at him. “Mrs. it wasn’t like this. Ashton was helping me. We only pretended like he hit me. He never did hit me. I promise you we are trying I even made the deal with Ashton that I would sing our song if he would play drums while I sing.” To Luke surprise, Ashton was only nodding at everything Luke said. Ashton was happy that Luke covered for him but he wasn’t happy about the drum thing. However, Ashton considered the whole plan because Luke was the one saving him from failing this class or getting suspended.   
Mrs. Allison looked down on Ashton and asked with a serious expression. “Is this true Ashton? Are you really considering to play with Luke in front this class?” Once again Ashton nodded. Mrs. Allison continued, “Luke would you mind taking your shirt off or pulling it up a bit so I can see if he really hasn’t hurt you?” Luke gapped he couldn’t pull anything up either Ashton would see the new bruises or Mrs. Allison would get a good look at Luke’s scars and bruises. Ashton was fully aware if Luke would pull up his shirt their teacher would see his boy (excuse me Ashton YOUR BOY? ♥) half naked and she would also be able to see the fading bruises. “I don’t want to be disrespectful but I think it would make him uncomfortable. I don’t know how we can show you that we didn’t get into a fight at all. We are actually friends.” Luke looked at Ashton with wide eyes. Never did he thought Ashton would do this for him. Luke was so grateful for what Ashton did. Nobody did cover for him before and he was so surprised to hear Ashton saying they would be friends. “Your right Ashton. I am sorry Luke I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable. However, you have to understand my position. You two are always fighting and I have the feeling that you Ashton, hate Luke for some reason. Now, Ashton, you asked how you can prove me I was wrong and you are actually friends, I would like you two to come around after school on Friday and I will give you some special work or exercise. Now you two can continue working on your song and Luke I am very sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Luke only nodded and watched his teacher walk away. Luke breathe out and sighed. He whispered a quiet thank you. “Luke, can you please look at me for a second? I promise I will not scream at you but I am also not happy about what you did.” Ashton was mad at himself for saying they would be friends. He didn’t want them to be friends. his reputation would get lost. He worked so hard to get this popular. But as soon he looked into Luke’s scared wide eyes he worried more about the boy in front of him. “Now Luke I don’t know if it was good to tell her that we are friends but I think we will never be friends no offense but this friendship would never work. Now to thank me you will tell me your secret.” Luke was surprised. He didn’t quite catch up to Ashton's idea and was ready to panic. What if he wanted to know if his parents were nice people or something family related? Luke breathed out a quite what. “I want you to tell me why Coby knew your name.” Luke considered lying to Ashton. It would be the best if he would be still believing that Luke was an innocent little nerd, who had no talent. “Ugh I once went to a gig with my mom and she knows Coby from High school. They talked a lot this evening and since then my mom and I go there almost every month.” To Luke’s surprise, the lie slipped out his mouth really easy. He was accustomed to lying and his body already knew how to act like you mean something. Ashton believes the innocent boy because he would never expect Luke to lie to somebody. He nodded and they continued to write a bit. Luke tried to come up with some words for the lyrics but Ashton denied all his suggestions. As soon the bell rang both ran out of class. Both had lunch and both would do similar things. But Luke didn’t know and Ashton defiantly didn’t care or knew. Both would pretend to eat something but wouldn’t try a bit.  
Luke sat down on the table in the corner of the cafeteria, where nobody would be looking at him. He took out his phone and typed in the number he had gotten from Anny. He wasn’t sure what to write because he never had girl friends that would probably want to date him. Hesitantly he started typing: “Hey, here is Luke from the club yesterday.” As he hit send he felt a bit nervous but also exciting. A few minutes passed and his phone lit up, announcing he had got a message. “Hey Luke, I was hoping to hear from you soon. How you’re doing?” Luke smiled as he read her message. He answered right back.

  
L: I am fine. It was nice talking to you, I was hoping we could talk for a little bit more. I am currently at school but we have half an hour lunch break.

  
A: Yeah I really enjoyed talking too. I have a lunch break in 10 minutes. We have to stay a bit longer because our next exam is next lesson and we wanted to have some question time. I will text you in 10. Bye ♥

  
Luke’s heart skipped a beat as he read the last message. He had never received a heart from anybody. Not even his mother. He waited patiently for her to text him back and like she promised she wrote back 10 minutes later.

  
A: Now I am free. Do you mind me asking, about the boy who was mean to you in the club? It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.

  
L: Oh you mean Ashton. He is a partner for the music project. He doesn’t like me. To be honest, nobody likes me.

  
A: Oh no don’t say this. I defiantly like you.

  
L: Thank you I like you too. You seem very nice. Would you like to meet sometime?

  
A: Yes of course. What do you say to some coffee? Maybe today after school?

  
L: That would be cool but I have to work with Ashton on my music project. Maybe this weekend?

  
A: Okay I am fine with Saturday at 3:30 pm. See you ♥

  
Luke smiled like an idiot. He couldn’t believe he got a date with such a beautiful girl. He was so in thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Ashton, Michael, and Calum approaching him. Suddenly his phone got snapped out of his hands. The next thing he heard was laughing. “Look at this Ashton the fag got himself a date for the weekend. Let’s see who the boy is. Hmm, he put him in under a synonym.” Michael laughed but Ashton couldn’t stop himself from being mad at the blond for going on a date. He was supposed to spending time with Ashton but he felt like he wanted more. Ashton felt a little pang in his heart. A wave of jealousy overtook his body. He slammed his fist down on the table. Luke shirked at the sudden noise. “Luke you cannot go on a date with her. We have plans so cancel it.” Michael and Calum looked at Ashton in surprise and so did Luke. Nobody had expected the older one to act like some protective boyfriend. “Ash what are you talking about? What do you care about this fag and his love life?” Everyone looked expecting at Ashton. He scratched the back of his neck. “We have to finish our project and we have to make it properly. I don’t want to get in trouble. I really don’t care about who he is going on a date with.” But Ashton cared he cared more than he liked. “That makes sense, now let’s go, fag. See you in history.” Calum and Michael left. Ashton stayed behind and looked with narrowed eyebrows at Luke. He couldn’t be jealous of some random girl Luke had met at the club. “Now listen, fag. You’re going to meet her today. I will stay at the coffee bar with you two. You have an hour than you will leave and you’re not going to meet her until we have finished this stupid project. I will sit there and wait for you to be left alone. You don’t deserve someone. Now text her.” Luke couldn’t believe what Ashton just did. He didn’t want to rush something like a meet up with Anny. “No Ashton I don’t want you to sit there and watch me. I really like her and I don’t want someone to watch me. I get that you don’t like me but that doesn’t mean you have the right to tell me what I can do and what I can’t. I will not text her and I don’t mind that you will hate me even more for this. If you want to beat me up for it then you can do this, I don’t care.” Ashton hadn’t expected Luke to be so aggressive about a simple message. But Ashton was too proud to leave it like this. He grabbed Luke’s phone and texted Anny himself. Luke’s face turned an evil red. He was sure he could burst. This was so inappropriate from Ashton. Nobody had the right to text someone who actually liked him without his permission. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU FUCKING IDIOT HAD NO RIGHT TO GO ON MY PHONE AND TEXT HER. WHAT DO YOU CARE? WHY ARE YOU SO HORRIBLE?” Luke was screaming and Ashton felt bad for what he had done but tried to stay calm. “I don’t fucking care about your emotion. I want a good mark. Now shut up you get your date. I will leave and you can do what you want with this slut.” “You don’t know her. She isn’t a slut.” Ashton laughed a dry laugh even though he wasn’t in the mood for laughing. He felt bad for what he had done however he would never confirm it. He felt so jealous and Ashton didn’t like the feeling of it. He didn’t want to feel something for Luke. All the years he tried to convince himself that he had no feelings for the beautiful blond boy with the ocean blue eyes which had once many emotions in them but as time passed his eyes got dull like every life left them. “Everyone who likes you is a slut or has to be a slut.” And something true was in his words. He was something like a slut and he had defiantly some feelings for him. “Alright, Ashton I will go on a date today. I don’t care and to be honest I am scared that you will hurt me if I don’t.” Luke knew that it hit Ashton hard. Luke wasn’t really scared of Ashton because he felt nothing anymore. Ashton had once again proven what a horrible person he was which didn’t give a fuck about everyone else. Ashton gave Luke his phone back with shaking hands. What Luke just said hurt him like hell. He never knew that someone was afraid of him and he didn’t want Luke to fear him. But Ashton was sure that this would be better like this. Now his feelings would go away and he didn’t have to worry about Luke. Ashton walked away and wiped his tears away. He took a shaky breath and left for his final class.

Luke wasn’t aware of Ashton’s feelings towards him but Luke had some feelings too and to say he was mad would be a lie. He liked Ashton in some straight way or that was what he hoped. Even though he was a bit happy to know that Ashton cared. Luke looked down on his phone and realized Anny saying she was fine with 4:30 pm. At the locale coffee bar. He wrote short okay and started walking to his history class.  
Arriving in class he sat down in the front and waited until the teacher would arrive. Only 5 minutes passed and Mr. Wake came in with some papers. He passed them around and told the class to work on them. Ashton came in and Luke looked up. He was surprised to see Ashton looking on the ground. The boy walked to a seat in the back corner next to Michael and Calum. They started working and Luke was surprised that he wasn’t hit by a paper ball but the lesson continued without any interruptions. As soon as the bell ran Luke sprinted out of class.

He waited for Ashton at the school gates. As he waited some students passed him who insult him. Almost everyone had passed and finally, Ashton made his way towards Luke. Ashton wasn’t sure if he could face the blond. He felt so sorry and horrible but he would never let anyone notice this. He was also hungry but he was sure it would pass. Ashton was greeted with an emotionless Luke waiting at his car. Ashton unlocked the door and got into the driver seat. Luke took a seat behind Ashton. Not like the other day, Ashton scooted a little bit up and started the engine. The drove off in silence. “Can you bring me to the locale coffee bar?” Ashton only nodded and stopped 10 minutes later at the coffee bar. Both got out and Luke was surprised that Ashton walked in the other direction. His head hanging low and his hands in his pockets. To Luke, he looked very vulnerable. “Stop Ashton you can come with me you don’t need to walk away.” Ashton didn’t even turn around it hurt him too much to look at a happy Luke. “No thank you I don’t care. I will come later. Maybe.” Luke nodded even though he knew Ashton wouldn’t see him. He walked into the café not even sure if he wanted to have a date with Anny. Ashton didn’t leave his mind. He felt sorry like he was the cause. But as soon he saw Anny all his worries left his mind. She looked so beautiful but not as beautiful as Asht… no Luke stop. “Hey, Anny. Nice to see you again.” “Hii Luke.” She got up and pulled him into a hug. They sat down and ordered both a strawberry milkshake. ”How was your day.” Asked Luke. “ It was pretty good. Our teacher told us …” After this Luke stopped listening. Ashton didn’t leave his mind. He continued to nod. He would speak whenever he felt the need to answer. "Luke you seem pretty off. What is the matter?" Luke shrugged. He wasn't sure why but it felt good to have Anny to talk but at the same time, he couldn't enjoy the time with her. "I don't know. I had a stressful day but I really like talking to you. I am sorry that I am so exhausted." Anny took Luke's hand in hers "It's fine. I totally understand what you mean. School can be so annoying. I guess I have to leave soon but it was nice talking to you. I would like to see you soon again." Luke simply smiled at her. She was so kind and the time passed really quick as soon Luke felt comfortable.

Ashton, on the other hand, was really down. He walked around the mall a bit but he wasn't able to stay away from the Cafe. Half an hour later he arrived at the cafe and sat down outside. He looked through the window and pain shot through his heart as he saw Luke and the girl holding hands. The feeling of jealousy was stronger than ever but Ashton tried to convince himself that it was caused because he needed Luke to get a good mark. He waited 10 more minutes than he got up.

"Luke I think I need to go. I will text you." Both got up and Anny pulled Luke into a hug. As she released him the door opened and Ashton came in. But Luke hadn't noticed and Anny also didn't. She was sure Luke liked her like she liked him without hesitation she pulled him in for a kiss. As soon as her lips met Luke's, an uncomfortable feeling shot through Luke's body. He didn't like the kiss it felt so wrong and Luke was relieved as she pulled away. As polite as he was he only smiled and wished her a good day. However Luke felt terrible. He felt no emotion it only felt wrong to him. Ashton, on the other hand, was mad because for him it looked like Luke enjoyed kissing her.  He felt like Luke and Anny had a great time and he felt immediately jealous. But he was brought back into reality as soon as he saw Luke and his still cold blue eyes. "Fag let's go" he whispered into Luke's ear who got goosebumps. Ashton pulled Luke to his car. The ride to Luke's home was quite. Ten minutes passed as they arrived at Luke's. No car was parked outside which meant his parents went out much to Luke's surprise. But he also couldn't care less. "Do you mind going into my room for work?" Ashton was surprised how cold and harsh Luke's voice was. He had imagined it to be all lovely and happy but he knew he was the cause of this. "I don't fucking care as long as I get a good mark." They got out of the car and walked towards the door. Luke took out a key and unlocked the front door. Both got in and went upstairs. Ashton sat down on Luke's bed and was about to ask if Luke had a guitar as the blonds phone suddenly rang. Seeing the caller ID. He pressed hang up and walked away. Ashton watched him leave but didn't dare to move.  Something about this room was intimidating and Ashton had felt like this before but his thoughts got interrupted by Luke. "Here is an old guitar I hope it's enough. I will tell you something about me and I will try to make it into lyrics. 

First of all, I feel lonely like everyone can see through me. But I don't care. I don't like pity and I am pretty smart, you could also say I am a nerd but nobody knows me. Everyone judges me. But I don't have a say in this. I get bullied because everybody thinks I like boys but I never confirmed it. I have a basic life and nothing is special about it. I have no talents and my whole life is like it seems to everyone. It's boring but I like it. My life is my personality." Ashton looked at the boy in front of him the innocent and insecure boy who just told him how boring he was. "I think I am too boring to write about. Maybe something like:

Nobody sees me and I don't care

They don't matter all I need is me

My parents are crazy but I am not who gives a damn."

Ashton cringed at what he just heard from Luke. He couldn't believe how untalented Luke seemed to be. " I think we need another theme. How about a one-night stand thingy.

It started on a weekend in May  
I was looking for attention  
Needed intervention  
Felt somebody looking at me  
With a powder white complextion  
Feeling the connection

The way he looked was so ridiculous  
Every single step had me waiting for the next  
"I have written this a long time ago but couldn't really finish it my inspiration was suddenly gone. We can work on this because yours is depressing and this is fun." They wrote the next two lines until Luke zoned out again and Ashton was left alone with his memories. Before I knew it, it was serious  
Dragged me out of the bar  
To the backseat of her car  
  


Ashton knew who the song was about as he first started to write it. A boy he had met at the Music 4 U Club a few months ago before the whole thing with Shane started. Ashton was on his summer break so he went to the club and discovered this amazing singer. It was a good night and long but as soon he woke up in the backseat of his car he couldn't remember the person's name. He only had a blurred image of a blond boy with skinny jeans who had performed the night and the car smelled of his cologne and something else. He was a bit shorter and his shoulders were too broad for his small looking frame. One thing Ashton could clearly remember was a tattoo on his chest. A guitar with "I feel numb" written under it. He had never seen the boy after that night.

"Do you mind asking who this is about?" "No, it's none of you business. If we're ever friends, which I highly doubt, I will tell you." With this, they sat there in silence. Ashton tried to come up with something and Luke tried to get rid of the feeling that the scenario sounded pretty familiar. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mentioned in the chapter is not mine. All rights go to 5 Seconds of Summer.  
> Song: English Love Affair by 5 Seconds of Summer


	7. Broken boy meets broken boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry that I took so long but managing school, driving lessons and life at the same time is pretty hard. I hope you like this chapter even though it took so long.

Ashton POV

 

We sat in Luke’s room for almost 2 hours and no one dared to talk. I played some tunes on Luke’s old guitar and Luke looked aimlessly around. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him a long time. An overtired and exhausted broken boy sat in the corner and I couldn’t believe that I never ever had noticed how broken he was. My quite playing got interrupted by a door slamming shut. As soon as the bang was heard Luke tensed and went to look out of the window. He cursed under his breath but I could hear his quiet fuck. As Luke turned around he looked scared and panicky. “Umm Ashton can you leave now. I know that you’re supposed to stay here but for your sake, it would be better if you leave now through my window.” What the fuck I am not going to leave. I wanted to know why Luke was so scared. I really wanted to know everything. I wanted to know why he was such a fuck up. No Ashton don’t continue to be such a bitch. “No Luke I am not going to leave. I don’t care about what you tell me.” Luke looked at me, ready to talk but he closed his mouth and turned away. “All right then please come with me downstairs. You must be hungry and I can cook something for you if you would like to eat something.” What the hell, how can someone offer his worst enemy a meal? “No thank you.” He nodded and told me to stay in his room. Luke immediately left the room and walked downstairs. I wandered around a bit until something coughed my attention. It was a small box and a journal on top of it. I bend down and picked it up. “Don’t open” was written on the front of it but I, as usual, didn’t listen and opened the book. The first two pages were empty, the third coughed me a little off-guard. It was a picture of Luke. He had his guitar in his hand and was pretty young. His hair was black and he was dressed in all black. Under the picture was written, “Better times. I was free.” As I turned the page around a small metal blade fell out. I picked the object up and knew what I held in my hands. Something I hadn’t hold for a long time. Suddenly a loud bang was heard from downstairs and someone was yelling. I put the journal back under his bed and walked towards his door. As I tried to open the door, it flew open and a shocked Luke was a few inches away from me. I could feel his hot breath against my lips. “Sorry, Ashton but I think you need to leave. My parents don’t want me to have a visitor.” “No, I am not leaving. I will talk to them and explain to them what we have to finish.” Luke's eyes widen in fear and he backed away. But he pushed me back into his room. As he started to speak again his voice wasn’t louder as a whisper. “NONONO Ashton please leave. I will get in so much trouble. Please, I will do whatever you want but please leave.” What could possibly happen if I would stay? “Come on Luke what can possibly happen? By the way, we have to finish the project soon and I have training tomorrow anyways.” Luke sighed and hid his face in frustration in his hands. “Alright, alright. Then come on let's go downstairs and you can tell my parents why you staying. I will go first.” He turned around and walked down the stairs. It took me a few seconds until I followed him. As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I could hear someone screaming at Luke. I followed the voices and reached the living room, where I found Luke the other day. A black haired man and a blond woman were seated on the big couch. Luke had his back turned towards me and held his face. The woman stared at me and the man looked sternly at Luke, with a disappointed expression. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Hemmings. I am sorry to interrupt your evening with your son but we have a school project for the next two weeks. I would be very grateful if I could stay for a while?” Mr. Hemmings began to laugh and pointed with his finger at me. “Let me guess you’re a faggot too. That fits very well. Liz look at this we finally have a reason to beat him up. Ben was fucking right, he is a useless piece of shit.” My mouth fell open and my eye grew wide. Did he just insult me? “What did you just say to me? You don’t know if I am gay or not and if I am gay what does it matter to you. I am not your son.” “Oh Honey, we can do everything we want nobody disobeys us without feeling the consequences and little faggot here has disobeyed so many times.” She got up and walked towards me. I couldn’t move it was like my feet were glued to the floor. “It such a shame that you're gay. You look so good and your manners are wonderful. But you’re gay that makes you a failure.” I don’t know why but it hurt so much hearing something like this from a complete stranger. I watched her walk towards Luke but Luke was quick to act. He unfroze and ran towards me and pulled me upstairs. I was too shocked to even react to him pulling me. As we entered his room, he immediately locked the door. Soon he turned around and I could finally see his face properly. He had a red handprint on his left cheek. “Ummm Ashton I don’t want to make you more uncomfortable but would you leave. I know you still don’t want to, but we both know that you don’t really care what happens to me. And that you don’t really want to know what happens because you would be responsible as well. You saw what they did but as long as you stay here you will fell guilty and I know that you want nothing to do with me.” I nodded and walked towards the window. I opened it and claimed onto the tree next to his house. I turned back around and saw Luke standing at his window with a sad expression. He was right I felt guilty but at the same time, I didn’t want to know what would happen to Luke after I left. I walked towards my car and got in. As I turned around again, I could see a small person pulling Luke away from the window. I started the motor and drove and drove until I reached the club near to my apartment. I had such a bad feeling that I left Luke’s but it was his own decision to kick me out. What is the worst that can happen? Maybe he gets grounded for a few days or something not too serious. As I got out of the car I saw that Music 4 U had a special artist today. I realized, it was the same artist I hooked up with and like the last time, there was a name but no face. Maybe today was my lucky day and I would get the opportunity to talk to him some more and learn something about him like his real name. As I started to make my way into the club, I realized that I couldn’t really remember what he looked like from the few glances I got. All I knew was that he had blue eyes and tall. On stage, he stood with a hood over his head. Suddenly my thoughts got interrupted by a body pushing me towards a wall. I looked up and was met with shoulder blades. I pushed my way towards the bar I noticed Ben the barkeeper I had a longtime crush on. He had dirty blond hair and blue eyes almost as deep as Luke’s. Hello Ashton why are you thinking about him? Don’t compare such a beautiful human being with someone else like Luke. To begin with, I decided to order a drink and to spend some time on the bar maybe having a nice chat with Ben. Above all, I really wanted to keep myself occupied so I wouldn’t leave and look whether Luke was alright. He seemed so down and broken as I left but now was not the time to worry. It already happened if I try to change something it wouldn’t really work.

As I sat down Ben came towards me and handed me a water. He knew by now that I would start off with a water and continue to work myself up. “Hey mate what’s up? What ya doing here?” “Man I was at a friend's but he kicked me out. I thought it would be nice to head over here and drink something even though it’s only Tuesday.” Suddenly Ben’s phone rang and disturbed our conversation. “Yes hello? … No, I haven’t … Alright, I will come… Yes, of course, I will hurry up… Bye, see you in a bit.” “Sorry, Ash I have to leave, family drama. We will catch up next time you’re around.” I only nodded and watched him walk away.

While I waited for the Artist named Hemmo to go on stage, I looked around to perhaps find a cute boy to hook up with. Nobody, in particular, caught my eye but my hopes were high up for this night. The new bartender Tess brought me a beer and I started to gulp the first one down as she offered me a second one I turned it down and took a second water instead. Waiting for Hemmo, half an hour passed and suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around in a swift motion and was met with dark brown eyes. Even though they were pretty, Luke’s were a lot prettier. Although I tried to keep the thoughts about Luke out of my head they came back every time. “Hello there, beautiful. You look lonely, mind my company?” “Hello not at all. What's your name?” “I am Steven. Want something to drink?” He offered me a drink but didn't really care about my name, what a strange boy. “No thanks I had enough and I want to see the artist while I am sober. The last time I saw him I was so drunk that I cannot remember one single bit.” “Oh come on one drink isn’t a lot, I am positive you will remember this night.” He scooted closer and smirked at me. Wow, that went creepy really fast, time to denial his company. “Sorry mate, I don’t feel like drinking.” He sighed and started talking again. “Do you mind me asking how old you are? I hate young immature teenagers.” What the hell, what a creep, maybe if I laugh he will leave me alone. “Aw you laugh is so sexy. You sound like a young twink.” What the fuck is up with this pervert. “What? I will go to the toilet real quick.” He waved and slapped my bum as I turned around to leave. I walked towards the restroom but turned around the corner and took a deep breath. I looked behind me and saw Steven heading my way. He made his way through the big crowd. I ran along the hallway and bumped into Coby he looked at me in surprise. “Please help me. Can you please hide me or get me out of here as fast as possible.” I pleaded widening my eyes. “What happened Ash? I will help you but you have to do me a favor.” He pushed me into a small room where only staff was allowed to go in. “Now tell me what happened.” “I was at the bar drinking some water as a young man came up to me and called me a twink and cute. He tried to get to know my age and was about to pay a drink for me but I denied him because I wanted to stay sober for the artist.” “OH my do you know his name?” I nodded and told him Steven’s name. “Listen, Ash, I will help you but you have to perform this weekend for half an hour. Hemmo suddenly canceled his performance today and I wanted to have an act this week.” What no! I really wanted to see him. “Alright, I will perform on Saturday, call me and tell me the details.” While he pushed me out of the door I thought about the Hemmo guy. I really wanted to know what had happened to him. As I walked towards my car I noticed a car in the parking lot that looked similar to the one in front of Luke’s house. Standing in front of my own car I noticed my keys were missing. Coby was still outside so I went back and told him I had forgotten my keys. He walked with me to the bar and gave me a key for the back door and told me to bring it back tomorrow after school. Making my way back I felt an urge to use the restroom. As I entered the restroom I noticed Steven leaning against the wall. He looked up and smirked at me. I begged away from him but he came close fairly quickly. “Here you are my beauty. What happened to using the restroom?” “I forgot my keys and headed back to grab them. Can you let go I really need to go.” I pushed him away and went into a cabin and locked it behind me. As I opened my skinnies I heard the door behind me reopen. What the hell? Suddenly I felt hands on my waist and a breath on my neck. “Let me help you. Let’s see this little prick of yours.” I wasn’t really able to move but I pushed him away somehow and closed my skinnies again. Before I could close the zipper I felt hands on my thighs again. I screamed and suddenly he got rid back by someone. I turned around in fear and saw a slim figure with black skinnies and a black hoodie holding Steven down. He kicked Steven in the chin and pulled him back up. While the stranger pushed him outside I stood there shaking and close to tears. To be shocked was an understatement. I was embarrassed and scared. To be honest I never felt so vulnerable in my life. With tears gathering in my eyes I slid down the wall of the stall. As I buried my head in my arms, the stranger came back and kneeled down in front of me. I still wasn’t able to see his face but I was still very grateful. “C’mon I will bring you home. Am I allowed to touch your arm to help you up?” His voice was deep, raspy and sounded pretty familiar. I nodded and felt his hand on my upper arm, he pulled me up and walked me to the back door. I reached with shaky hands into my pocket and pulled out Coby’s keys. He nodded his head and unlocked the door. The fresh air hit my face as we kept walking towards his car or what seems to be his car but I stopped him. “Can you please walk me to my car? I really need to get home.” Again he only nodded and I showed him where my car was. Once we arrived, he insisted on driving me home but I told him I was fine even though it was a total lie. “Thank you for helping me. Can you tell me your name?” He turned around and mumbled: “You wouldn’t thank me if you knew who I am.” I guess I wasn’t supposed to hear this. “Believe me, Ashton, you know my name. I will give you a clue. I can sing, play guitar and we had something a while ago.” I tried to process the new information but once my mind stopped spinning he was already gone. I looked around but couldn’t find someone. With a sigh, I sat down in the driver seat and started the engine.

I cannot really remember how I got home but as soon as I opened the door I ran towards my shower and got under it fully clothed. Finally, I could let my tears roll. Slowly I rolled my sleeves up and looked at the faded scars on my right arm from my operation as a 5-year-old. I couldn’t remember what had happened but I really didn’t care. Looking in the mirror I got really sick and went towards the toilet and vomited. With wobbly legs, I stood up and opened the cabinet over the sink and pulled something out.

 

 

3red Person POV

 

Next Morning * Wednesday* at school

 

Luke walked into the hallway dressed in some red corduroys pants and a white dress shirt. As he made his way to his locker he remembered that he had to tutor Calum today after school. Maybe he should text Ashton but he soon realized he didn’t have his number. Maybe Calum would be kind enough to lend him his phone. He couldn’t even speak with Ashton because they hadn’t one single class together, they had even lunch in other periods. With a sigh, Luke left for his next class. Chemistry was one of his favorite subjects besides music and art. Arriving in the classroom he spotted Calum with Michael sitting in the back of the room nobody was there beside them. Calum was leaning in and was about to kiss Michael as Luke came into the room both pulled suddenly away causing Calum to fall from his chair. He landed on his ass and Luke really tried to contain his laughter but he couldn’t. As he looked towards Michael he was met with an angry stare. “If you tell somebody ...” “I know I know no need to threaten me. I will never tell someone because you all make sure that I cannot find new friends in the fucking school. So continue whatever you want, I don’t mind.” With a sigh, Luke sat down in the very front. Michael was speechless. He never realized how much crap he talked. Nobody ever talked back to him besides Calum and Ashton. He looked at an evenly surprised Calum, who was currently dusting of his pants. He looked at Michael with a sad smile because he knew he wasn’t allowed to go and talk to Luke even though he really wanted to. He bend down to whisper into Mikey’s ear “Please let me talk to him he seems not even sad I really wanted to be his friend.” Mikey looked at him and only nodded. He wanted Calum to be happy and he knew how right he was. Luke seemed so lifeless and his usually blue eyes were dull and gray. Though Michael didn’t want to be friends with Luke he felt sorry for the boy. All he ever did was to get straight A’s and all they did was bully him for being good in school and wearing strange clothing. Before Calum skipped away he kiss Michael's cheek who blushed madly.

Luke, on the other hand, was surprised to see Calum in front of him with a genuine smile. “Hey, Luke. I am sorry I didn’t want you to see this because I knew what reaction would come out of this.” Luke didn’t feel a thing he only thought about his emotions he tried to keep locked up inside of him. “It’s alright. I wanted to ask you if it’s alright to learn at your place today and can you please tell Ashton that I will come by his a bit later because we need to continue to write.” To be honest, Calum was a bit taken back by the sudden change of their conversation. "Alright we can learn at mine but we have to ride with Mikey because I haven’t got my own car. Let me give you Ashton’s number so you can call him by yourself.” But Luke only shook his head. “No No please text him. If it’s alright with Michael I will be okay with it.” Calum looked towards his lover with pleading eyes. Michael rolled his eyes but nodded with a sigh. Now many other students filled the room. “Okay Luke wait at the parking lot after school we will come there and we can leave together.” He only nodded and looked down on his homework.

Soon the teacher entered the classroom and the lesson began. Luke was trying to get his mind of off last night. He pulled his sleeves down and turned his attention back to his tasks. They had to do some partner experiment but as usual, he was alone. They had to do some Acid-base titration what didn’t seem to be much fun anyways. The lesson went by pretty quickly and as the bell rung Luke made his way to his locker to pick up his stuff. Today nobody bothered him but something seems strange today but he couldn’t wrap his head around it. While he made his way towards his next class he noticed a new boy. He had dark brown hair and an eyebrow piercing. His eyes were brown and his skin was even paler as Luke’s but he had to confess he looked pretty hot. What the hell Luke you are not gay.

The new boy turned around and walked to Luke who was pretty surprised to see someone walking by choice to him. “Hey there, I am Dennis. If you haven’t already noticed I am new here.” “Hi I am Luke but if I were you I wouldn’t talk to me I am a totally loser and very one bullies me.” The other boy looked at him in surprise but smiled. “Alright, I was bullied in my other school because I look pretty gay and have lesbian mothers but I am one hundred percent straight.” Luke laughed but it was fake after all. He talked to Dennis a bit more and noticed that they had lunch together and Luke had to promise to show him around even though he insisted for him to find some other friends.

The next lesson went by really quickly because Luke had actually someone to work with. They hit it off very well and as the lesson ended both were a bit sad to leave the other alone. Leaving for his last class Luke noticed a letter on his locker. He took it and read it:

 

"Hello fag,

I know what you did. I know who you are. I know your secrets and if you make a wrong move I will spill them.

Keep yourself away from Ashton, Dennis, Calum, and Michael or I will tell everyone about your so called career<

I hope you have a horrible day.

Oh and keep your distance you have today to get everything right.”

Luke sight but didn’t really care at the moment. If someone would spill his secret he would be dead but at the moment he was pretty much dead inside.

 

 

*Time skip*

 

 

After school Calum waited for Luke to come. He did see the blond today at lunch with the new guy. He was honestly happy for Luke. He never had a friend and now he made a friend by himself without pushing it. "Hey, Calum I am sorry you had to wait so long. I promise it was a mistake I didn’t look at my watch.” “It’s alright Luke I am not mad at you. You only 4 minutes late buddy. Come on let’s head to Mikey’s car. I've seen you have made a friend today." Turning around Luke and Calum made their way towards Michael's car. Cheerfully Calum opened the passenger seat door and got in. Luke made his way to the back and sat behind Calum. Michael said nothing only kissed Calum on the cheek after looking if anyone could see them. If Luke was honest, they were a fucking cute couple. The drive was literally deafening silence. Nobody dared to talk and Michael didn't feel like turning on the radio and sharing what music he liked, with Luke. Luke pretty much knew he would have to keep up with Michael as well but he didn't care. Maybe like this, he could get out of here a lot quicker. But to his surprise, Michael only parked the car in front of Calum's house and kissed him goodbye. Only Luke and Calum got out and watched Michael drive away. "Come on Luke let's get in. I know for sure this will take longer because I am super bad at writing. And I know for a fact that you need to leave soon." Calum unlocked the door and pulled Luke with him into his house. Luke was confused because no one besides Dennis, was ever friendly to him. "Where do we go? Want to go to my room or do you prefer the living room?" "If it's okay with you, we can go up to your room." Calum only smiled and walked ahead to lead the way. Opening the door, Luke was shocked. He had never seen such a messy room with band posters everywhere. "Calum, don't get me wrong but you're messy as fuck." The smaller boy pouted but soon the corners of his mouth turned upwards to a small smile. "Alright, Hemmings let's get started. What do we need to do?" "We have to write a characterization. You choose one character of your favorite book and after you characterized him/her you have to write why you think this character is important. Have you got a book idea?" "No, not really how about I will find a book until tomorrow and then on Saturday we will meet again we are going to write it then. Can we now please work on the tasks we did in the beginning of this theme?" "Yes of course. Okay we did..."

 

3 hour later

 

“No Calum no no no. You did so well and now this? You spelled character CARAKTAR. What happened? And this sentence, it doesn't make sense. You little shit did this on purpose, didn't you? I am done so done." Luke sighed and put his head down. Calum, on the other hand, was rolling around laughing at how frustrated Luke was. "Okay, okay I did it on purpose. But I guess you have to call Ashton now otherwise he will get angggggggryyyyy." Luke had almost forgotten about Ashton but now his smile fell and Calum delayed Ashton's number. "ring ring ", "ring ring", "ring ring ", "ring ring", "ring ring ", "ring ring". Nobody answered, even at the 5th time trying to call, Ashton hadn't picked up. Calum and Luke decided it would be the best if Luke would walk to Ashton's because it wasn't far away.

Downstairs at the door Calum thanked Luke "Thanks for helping me. I know I disappointed you but I really hope we will be something like friends. I know for sure I was a bitch because I left you. But I really hope you will forgive me some time." "Calum I am sorry but I need time to forgive you but we can try to be friends. Here's my number. I trust you okay?" he nodded and handed Calum his phone. Waving goodbye Luke made his way to Ashton's house though they were supposed spending the weekend at Luke's. Halfway to his destination it started raining. Heavy rain came down on him, soaking him. As he finally arrived at Ashton's it was totally dark, almost 8 pm and his clothes stacked against his body. Not only was he wet, he also shivered because of the sudden wind. Ring Ashton's bell Luke saw only one lighted window and soon the door bussed to let him in. Luke made his way upstairs and knocked on the familiar door. Moments later the door flew open and a shirtless Ashton with messy hair and glasses opened the door. His upper body was sweaty and Luke couldn't help himself to check Ashton out. He looked sexy, hot, so fuckable and he made Luke get attacked with butterflies. Not only did he get unexpected feelings, no he got hard at this incredible sexy view. As Luke's eyes finally found Ashton's, he looked angry but his look turned annoyed pretty fast and after that, he looked concerned. "Luke, what are you doing here looking like this? Come in."

Ashton watched Luke enter the room his white shirt clung to his body and his pants stuck to his legs. Ashton had to bite his lip to suppress a groan. He looked so sexy, so fucking hot, he mad him hard almost immediately. Come on Ash this is Luke don't embarrass you. "Luke take off your clothes I will give you dry ones." Ashton walked away and took a deep breath. He chose a black hoodie and some comfy bottoms for Luke. A quick look in the mirror showed a blushing Ashton with a tent in his baggy trousers. Imagine old people having sex. Come on you can do it. With a deep breath, he made his way towards the living room. And let me tell you turning around the corner was his biggest mistake.


	8. Love me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey  
> I am really sorry for not uploading but I couldn't find the time.
> 
> This time I tried to write a bit of smut and I am really sorry if this is a bit awkward because I didn't really know how to write it. It's the first time I wrote something smutty.
> 
> but I really hope you like it.

Ashton POV

I rubbed my head and looked up. Right in front of me was an almost naked Luke. His boxers clung to him and showed his perfect ass. His back was turned towards me and I could see his scars. My jaw almost fell to the floor because he had so many and the tattoos on his back, which I never really noticed, made a big contrast to his milky white skin but sadly my vision was too blurry to see them properly. In aww I started to walk as quietly as I possibly could towards him. He was a piece of art but I would never admit it to myself or someone else. All I wanted to do was touch his skin, it looked so smooth. When I touched his back, he tensed immediately. “Luke what … what... why do you ha-have so many scars?” I whispered. I don't know why I did this but I really wanted to show him that I cared about him. “Please Ashton don't touch me and please look away, I am so ugly you weren't supposed to see this. I will leave I-I am so sorry that I bothered you. I will leave. Let me get dressed. I am so stupid we can work on the project tomorrow. I will leave y...”  
I couldn't take it anymore. I kissed him and it felt so fucking great to smash my lips into his. Omg I couldn't believe how soft they were. Lips like heaven, softer than I had ever imagined them to be and this smooth skin. He didn't kiss back immediately and I started to panic. My cover was be completely blown and he could use it against me but to my surprise, he kissed back. I sighed into the kiss and pressed my lips harder against his. Believe me when I tell you that I was relieved to finally have the balls to kiss him. Soon our kiss wasn't an innocent anymore, we were fully making out by now. I licked over his bottom lip but he only chuckled and left his lips closed. With a smirk on my lips I gasped his bum and as he gasped I took my chance. Our tongues fought for dominance in the end I won. We kept kissing like crazy but soon we were out of breath. I couldn't believe what I was doing but I couldn't stop myself either. Only now I realized, that I wanted to kiss him for so so long. My mind kept spinning and I came to the conclusion that this could be the best thing in a long time for me. Luke pushed me away breathless and looked at me confused. “Ash, what was this? I mean I liked it and I am not even gay but why did you kiss me?” “I don't know. I know I am a complete asshole but I promise you, I will not tell anyone about this. It can be our secret. It felt so amazing and I am sorry that I never did this before.” I wanted to kiss him again but he pushed me away and I fell to the ground. “What are you talking about? Ashton, did you take any drugs? I will leave now okay. I think we both made a mistake.” No no no he couldn't leave me now. I finally knew who he was. I couldn't let him leave me. He saved me and I needed him like he needed me. “Luke I am so stupid. I never knew that you were so talented and no I didn't take any drugs. I know you saved me today. I am so stupid. Why was I so mean, I will never forgive myself for treating you so badly.” I pulled him into a hug, he was a bit tensed but it vanished within seconds. “Ash I don't want to be mean but I don't know what you talking about. I don't like you. I hate you die and never talk to me again. You are pathetic to think I really like you. This whole thing was a show to get my revenge. I will never like you, nobody will ever like you. You deserve to die, go to hell …”  
I felt something shaking me. Someone screaming my name into my ear. “ASHTON WAKE UP.” I opened my eyes and was met by Luke's ocean blue ones. With a groan, I raised my hand and touched my head. What happened? “Oh Ashton, I thought you were dead for a second. You came into the living room and bumped your head on the door. I was worried, you blacked out for a good few minutes.” What is going on? Was this a dream? How could I possibly imagine this of all the things? What the hell, my so called dream felt so real but to be honest I was relieved it only existed in my head. My mind was right he is straight and I would only lose my good reputation if I would give in my feelings that I might have for Luke. “Ashton is everything okay. Do you feel dizzy? Should I call an ambulance? Ashton Irwin are you with me?” I snapped out of my trance and looked at Luke, who had by now my shirt and my bottoms on. Maybe his naked body was only my imagination. To be honest I was a little bit disappointed but noticed the hand waving in front of my face. “I am listening. I am fine can we now talk about you being wet in front of my door?” I was sure I would sound confident but I didn't sound like me at all. My voice was weak and quivering. “Wow Ashton is everything alright? You are crying. Oh no, I should have called an ambulance you are hurt. I am such a terrible person. I can definitely understand why you guys hate me. I will leave you alone I will make you a cup of tea. I am so worthless.” The last part was so quiet that I almost didn't understand what he said but I think I wasn't supposed to hear it anyways. I know I said that he is worthless a couple times but I didn't really mean it like this.  
He walked away and seconds later I heard a knock on my door. I got up and held my head. Oh man everything was spinning and I could feel a headache rising. I looked through the spy but couldn't see properly, who was at the door. As I opened a man with a black mantel pointed at me. He pushed me away and entered my flat. “Do you know a boy called Luke and don't even consider lying to me?” I nodded. I couldn't shake off the feeling that I had seen him before. “Now boy tell me where is he? I will leave you alone if you answer me.” Soon it clicked and I knew where I had seen him before. It was the same man that tried to rape Luke the other day. I didn't really want him to hurt Luke, so I lied. “I don't know he left school today before me. We were supposed to work on a project today at his house. I wanted to leave in half an hour. Maybe he is already at home.” He looked at me and suddenly my kettle in the kitchen went off. “Is here someone else with you?” “No, I told you I was getting ready and I bumped my head on my fucking door. If you want to stay, I can make you a cup of tea as well. Or I suggest to leave me alone or I will call the police because you were looking for someone and threatened me.” The man smiled and nodded his head. “You’re alright boy but if you don't mind I will look in your kitchen and convince myself if I cannot find him I am going to leave.”  
I got nervous and started speaking again. “You do know that I hate his guts, don't you? He and I are enemies and we aren't even close. I was forced to be partners with him because our stupid teacher had a bad day. He is such a terrible untalented freak.” I couldn't believe what came out of my mouth but the man only nodded with a smirk and walked off to my kitchen but I stopped him again. “Man listen, I don't want you to look in my kitchen. I don't want to have something to do with you and his shit. I am serious. I don't want you here and I didn't let you in, you pushed your way in without my agreement. I don't know you and you cannot scare me. I was cooperative because I could have called the police already. So I would like you to fucking leave now and don't even try to scare me. I don't want to get involved into your fucking business.” The man only laughed and tried to push his way into my kitchen but I pushed him away. “Oh, you are stronger than expected. Nobody ever talked to me like this. You must really dislike him to not even care why I came here. Now let me quickly look in there and I will be gone and nobody gets to know I was here. Deal?” “You have 30 seconds until I will call the cops. Starting now.”  
He walked in the kitchen looked around and under the table but couldn't find Luke. As he turned around he laughed and patted my shoulder. “Okay boy, I will leave. If he comes here please do me a favor and bring him home. He needs his medication and punishment, only a talk, don't worry but if he annoys you, you have the permission to hit him.” I only looked at him and he walked out of my door and slammed it shut.  
I let out a sigh and walked towards my kitchen and shut off my kettle. I rested my hand on the kitchen counter and breathed out, bend forward to put my head on the counter. What the hell was that all about? Medication? What the flipping hell? I don't know if I can believe this man but what I know is that Luke is in deep deep shit. Suddenly someone cleared his throat and I whipped my head around to see a scared looking Luke, with his head hanging low. “I am sorry Ashton. I didn't know that they were looking for me. I should never have come here in the first place. I will leave immediately.” His eyes were watering and I couldn't help but stop him. He was so venerable and broken. “You can stay here for a bit if you want, but you know you need your medication. I know that you don't want to go there but the man was right you cannot stay away so long from you parents. They will worry about you and I don't want the police arresting me from keeping their son away from them.” Luke was about to argue but shut his mouth and turned around. I followed him as he walked into the living room., picked his wet cloth up and walked towards the bathroom.  
I was taken back and didn't really know how to react or what to say. But a minute later he exited the bathroom with my dry cloth in his hand and his wet one hanging from his shoulders. He walked towards me held my cloth towards me but as I didn't reach for them he sighed and laid them down on the armrest of my couch. As he turned around he looked like he hoped for me to stop him but also sad and scared. He soon realized I wouldn't stop him, like this, he turned around and walked towards my door. When he walked past the doorway he faced me once again. “Do you really think I need medication? You know what will happen but I will never hold it against you that you thought this was better and thank you for offering to stay a bit longer but you are right you could get arrested.” A single tear escaped his eye and the door shut behind his figure. All I could do was stare and stare. It happened so fast but also in slow motion. He was right, I could imagine what would happen but I was Ashton Irwin, a stupid worthless boy. I shook my head and made a cup of tea. I know what you are thinking. Who can be so heartless? Why don't you go after him, you even offered him to stay? And to be honest I don't know.  
The time passed, half an hour, an hour and suddenly I knew I had made a terrible mistake. I sprang from my couch and ran towards my front door, ripping off my keys from my board and slamming the door shut behind me. I was so stupid. I hate this kid but do his parents really care about him and his health? Ripping my car door open I hectically started the engine and speeded to Luke's. Arriving under 15 minutes, I ran towards his door and knocked. My breath was heavy and I was panting like a dog, who just chased a cat for miles. Ruffling was heard and suddenly the door swung open. Luke's mom looked at me in surprise but her gaping expression turned into a smile. “Hello there, are you Ashton? You must be a work partner of my son. Luke isn't home right now but if you want to I can give you a call when he arrives home. But I am sure that you can talk to him in school tomorrow.” “Okay ma'am but he told me to come here at half past 8 and I am already late.” “Listen to me son. He isn’t here leave or I will call the cops.” I was shocked. She seemed so nice just a second ago. Raising my hands, I stepped back from the door and turned around. The loud sound of the door getting slammed shut, I turned around and could see in the corner of my eye, that a light got turned off in Luke's room. Shaking my head I walked to the tree right in front of Luke's window. Oh man, what an effort for a fucking project. I started to climb up the tree to get a look into Luke's room. But as soon as I was on the top I realized that I wasn't supposed to see what happened at Luke's.

At Calum's

Calum POV

As soon as Luke left mine, I called Michael to come around. “Hello babe, what can I do for you?” I started to giggle at his greeting. “Mikey, can you come by? I need company my parents just left for a date night with a short vacation trip. They will be gone until Monday morning and I don't want to be alone right now. Please come to mine?” A cute laugh was heard from him and I smiled immediately. “Okay give me 20 minutes and I will be there. Do you want me to bring something?” To be honest I had some kinky shit in mind but I was too scared to ask him. We never had sex and we secretly dated for almost a whole year. I know what you think, how did Michael never make a move one you and I really don't know why. He just never did. I tried leaving small hints but he never reacted. I was almost concerned that he didn't find me attractive enough. We did some sexual stuff but never got to the actual fun. I am scared that eventually leaves me for someone more attractive.  
“Hello Cal, you still with me?” “Oh, I am sorry baby, I zoned out. Bring whatever you think you will need. If you stay the night, bring your school utensil. See you, be safe.” We said our goodbyes and I started to clean a bit. You never know what happens or who comes around besides Michael.  
While tidying the house I listen to my favorite bands and dreamed about playing in front of many people. I know it sounds stupid but since I am little my biggest dream was, to play in front of a big crowd. Because of this stupid dream, we formed our small band and Michael and I got together. Humming to Black Parade I didn't notice that the front door opened and my lovely boyfriend entered. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. I let go of my sponge and screamed like a little girl. Facing a giggling Michael I let out a deep sigh, sometimes I do hate him a lot. “Aww babe it's just me, don't worry, I am on friendly terms today.” He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Hey kiss me properly. I deserve a real kiss after you almost gave me a heart attack.” He was now full on laughing but crashed his lips into mine. We stayed like this for a few seconds until Michael started to move his lips. I followed his actions like usually and soon our lips were moving in perfect sync. We kept it sweet and simple, again a reminder why I loved him so much. Right now he was so gentle. The kiss was tender but I knew that it could turn into a make out session real quick. He was the first one to break away however he left one last peek on my lips. “No Cal what do you want to do? I guess Luke and you learned but didn't really eat anything.” I shook my head and looked towards the house phone. “Do you know what we should do?” I grinned and he nodded. Without another word, I went to grasp the phone and dialed the nearest pizza place. “ Hello could I get one pepperoni and a cheese pizza? ... Can you deliver them? … Calum Hood... Yes, alright. Thank you.”  
I turned around to notice Michael left the kitchen. Strange. Exactly like Michael. “Babe where are you? Please don’t jump up to scare me, I am not in the mood.” Suddenly I felt to pair of strong arms around my waist and a wet kiss pressed to my cheek. “I wasn’t going to, Cal. I don’t want you to hit your head like the last time. You were out for almost a whole of 20 seconds.” I giggled and turned around to hug him properly. He rested his head on mine and I put my chin on his shoulder even though we were both almost the same size it did fit perfectly. Suddenly the door bell rung, we pulled apart. As I started to walk, to get the door Michael pushed my away, winked at me and opened the door. Shrugging I headed towards my kitchen to grab something to drink for us. Now that the door closed again I called: “Do you want some water, coke, beer or wine to your pizza?” “I will take a water, please. Could you bring 2 plates as well?” I nodded although I knew he couldn’t see me.  
Taking two glasses of water and two plates I slowly walked into the living room. Once I saw Michael sitting on the couch, my breath stopped, it felt like the most beautiful human being was sitting there. His hair looking so soft, his lips so kissable, his cheekbones and whole face so beautiful, all I wanted to do was kiss every inch of his face. Now I knew why it was worth getting up every morning. This face was definite enough to keep me mesmerized. “Baby, are you listening? Close your mouth otherwise you will catch flies.” Shocked, I closed my mouth again because I had not even noticed. Now that I was sure I had made the right decision with Michael, I felt much better. Even though sometimes we were not so unanimous, it never happened that we were fighting without making up again. “Sorry, got caught up in my thoughts. What did you say?” Michael giggled and patted the spot next to him. While he talked I sat down next to him and set the plates and the glass down. “I was asking whether you would like to watch a movie or if you would prefer to talk a bit.” Putting my legs in his lap, I answered: “I would love to watch a movie. Can we please watch frozen? I know it's childish but I actually never watched the movie.” Micheal's head whipped around, his eyes big and mouth gaping at me. “You have never seen Frozen? How didn't I know about this, hell yeah we are going to watch FROZEN.” I laughed at his fist pump and cuddled further into the couch. Leaning forward, Micheal took the remote to select Frozen on Netflix. “Aww, we're going to be so cliche. Netflix and chill, couple goals. What a quiet and uneventful evening.” I was so focused on the starting movie, I miss Micheal saying, don't judge the evening before it really starts, I have something planned. Putting the remote on the table, Michael picked up two slices of pizza and gave me one as well as a plate. I thanked him quietly as he leaned back.  
Further, into the movie, I noticed Micheal getting restless. He fiddled with his rings but stopped as soon he noticed me watching him. I smiled at him because his face got illuminated by the tv light. We stared into each other's eyes for a while until his hand traveled up my legs and pulled me into his lap. "Beautiful!" Mikey smirked at me and leaned in. As our lips met, fireworks went off in my stomach. Feeling his tongue on my bottom lip, I opened my mouth. He didn't have to fight for dominance because I surrendered without hesitation. He sighed against my lips and moved towards my neck. A moan escaped, as he bit into my neck gently. His teeth scraped my skin and he sucked on the spot beneath my ear. Admiring his work he blew over the hickey and attacked my lips again. With every second passed I grew harder in my pants. It was embarrassing how easily I got turned on by him.

*Smut starting to build up*  
"Cal can I please take you to your room, this couch is way too small. I want to make you feel loved. I want to make love to you." I looked into his dark eyes. His impression was so sincere and loving. Finally, I got what I dreamed of for so long. Only being able to nod, Micheal picked me up and carried me upstairs into my room. He gently laid me down on my bed. As my back hit the mattress I scooted up towards the headboard and Mikey followed. He hovered over my body, his forearms only supporting his weight. Our lips met again this time it was sweet and slow. No tongue, no hectic, only love, and soft, warm lips. Slowly putting his weight onto me, I could feel his hard one pressing against my own. Now his hand traveled to my cheek and I could feel his rough fingertips, from the years of playing guitar but it wasn't strange, it felt fucking amazing. As he caressed my cheek, I let my hand travel underneath his shirt. His skin was so soft and warm, the touch burned under my fingertips.  
The kiss got more intense until we both had to catch our breaths. "Can I take off your shirt, baby? I need to feel you." I quickly nodded and raised my arms for him to pull up my shirt. With on quick motion, my shirt was gone and his followed only seconds later. Leaning down again, the once gentle kiss turned into heated. needy kisses. He moved onto my neck again and prepared small kisses down my neck towards my chest. He left a trail of wet kisses from my chest to my belly button. He looked up at me with dark, clouded eyes, as he pressed the palm of his hand, into my crotch. A load moan escaped my lips and I had to close my eyes at the overwhelming feeling. "Oh Michael, please do something. I need you." "In a sec. I love seeing you worked up like this. You cannot imagine how long I have waited to see you like this. Every time we made out, all I wanted, was you. To make you feel good, to show you how much I love you. I wanted to make love to you for so long but I couldn't I was too scared, that you weren't ready or felt like I was only using you for your body. But now I finally got the courage to take the next step." Wow, that was the most beautiful thing he ever said to me, or anyone else ever said to me. "Aww, Mikey! If I had known you felt this way about us, I would have said something. I wanted you for so long, I even started to think that I wasn't attractive enough for you. But now that I know why, I feel bad for not making a move by myself. Let me show you how much YOU mean to me." He took a relieving deep breath and came up again to kiss me.  
I flipped us over and kissed his lips. My hands traveled all over his stomach, shoulders and into his hair. It felt like my hands were trapped into a cloud. I started to make my way to his neck, to suck a hickey onto it. Finishing my work I continued my way down sucking on his skin, just above his nipple. Moving towards the other one, Michael moaned in pleasure, as I "accidentally" put pressure on his erection. This time I bit down on his nipple and he hissed in pain and pleasure. I could feel his dick twitch in his pants, as I sucked on his nipple. Leaving a trail down his stomach, I once again stopped right above the waistband of his pants. "Oh god, Cal please take them off, I cannot wait any longer." I moaned as he gripped my hair and opened the zipper with my teeth. Kissing his prominent bulge, I earned me a deep growl and moan from him. I smirked and left hot, wet open mouth kisses on his clothed dick. Pulling his skinny jeans down, leaving him only in tight boxers, made my mouth water even more. Even me escaped a deep moan as I ripped his boxers off, letting his cock bounce free. It slapped his stomach and stood straight up. He took in a sharp breath as the cool air hit his erection. Moving my hand slowly towards his exposed dick, I grasped the base of his manhood and started to stroke it slowly. Spitting in my hand to make it easier, I moved my hand up and down. Mikey let a long moan escape his mouth as I kitten licked the tip.  
What a satisfying feeling, to finally being able to see him so worked up only because of me. Getting more exciting myself I palmed my dick over my pants, as I started to suck on the head. Bravely I licked the underside of his dick and started to take in more and more. I covered the remaining parts with my hand, while I bobbed my head in a slow rhythm. Michel was now fisting my hair and fully moaning. I could feel his hip buckle up and his dick hitting the back of my throat but in this moment me gagging didn't matter. It felt so fucking good, tasting Mikey's salty pre-come on my tongue. "Cal please stop or otherwise I am going to come." I pulled off him with a plopped and licked my lips. He took matter into his own hands and pushed me down on the bed. Ripping off my pants and underwear in one go he moaned at the sight of my dick slapping my stomach. "Do you really want to do this?" "Of course babe. I want you as much as you want me." He laughed "Oh I think that is not possible. Now I want you to lay back and relax, I am going to prepare you. Do you have lube, or do I have to go downstairs?" "Second drawer, nightstand." I laid down and watched Mikey leaning over to grab the lube. Feeling his hands on my legs, I closed my eyes and waited.  
He pushed my legs up and coated his fingers with lube. Suddenly the feeling of something cold against my hole, made me shiver. He circled his finger around my hole and pushed in the tip of his finger. It didn't hurt at all and the uncomfortable feeling vanished within a few seconds. “You did finger yourself, am I right?” I only moaned as an answer, as he pushed his whole finger inside me. “It's so fucking hot to imagine you riding your own fingers. Do you want me to continue?” “Yes, I need a second one of your long fingers.” A second finger was slowly inserted and I suddenly felt full, even though he wasn't fully inside me. He slowly pushed in and pumped both fingers in and out of my hole. The uncomfortable feeling I had as a second finger was added, got replaced by pleasure. I moaned and squirmed at the feeling of two long digits being pushed in and out. He started to scissor his finger and within this process hit my prostate. The overwhelming feeling shook through my body and I started to moan and groan uncontrollably as he hit my spot every time. “Need more. Please one more.” Mikey didn't wait any longer and fitted a third finger inside me. The third finger stung and the feeling of being uncomfortable returned and this time it didn't vanish fast. Mikey let me adjust to the feeling and after a minute I gave him the sign to start moving. Three felt even more, better and I had the constant feeling of coming. My breath got with every pump uneven and soon I couldn't take it anymore. “Mikey I don't want to come like this. Please give me your cock I need this, please. Take me now.” “Of course sweetheart. Let me just put a condom on.” He ripped open the foil and rolled the condom on his big dick. Asking me if I was ready I nodded and he lined his lube coated member up at my hole and pushed in gently. I tried to relax but wasn't really able to until I felt Mikey's lips on mine. We kissed slow and passionate and soon I relaxed and he was able to push in. Half way into me he stopped and panted. He gave me a kiss and pushed in fully, stayed still for a few seconds to let me adjust to the feeling. The pain started to fade as soon we kissed again and I gave him the sign to start moving. He pulled out of me almost all the way before he pushed in slowly. His thrusts were steady and slow. It felt almost like it was too much to handle. It felt so amazing and sweet. The kisses he gave me while he pulled out made my heart flutter.  
He pulled one leg over his shoulder to change the angle up. Now his thrusts were deeper and hit the right spot almost every time. My moans and screams got higher and longer and his grunts deeper and rapidly. It felt like heaven, having his big member hitting every right place. “Baby you feel so tight. I don't know how long I can last if you squeeze my cock like this every time I move in.” “I don't know I either. Please *moan* faster. I can not take it anymore.” He speeded up his thrust and pushed in with force. His cock moved out of my hole in such a speed, my body felt on fire. It felt amazing having a huge dick moving in and out and a mouth keeping you occupied. Our kisses got sloppier until we only had our open mouths together. “ Can I come. Mikey, I need to come I cannot take it anymore. Please!” I screamed in ecstasy. “Come for me my angle. I can't hold back either.” He once again speeded up his thrusts as we kissed again. My stomach got tighter and I could feel the high coming closer. Suddenly it washed over me. My thighs started to quiver and I shot my come over my and Mikey's chest. “I love you, Mikey. It feels so great. I love you.” I couldn't hold my eyes open, my eyes rolled back and my view went black for a minute. Micheal a few thrusts later Micheal was coming to with and I love you on his lips. Exhausted he pulled out of me tied the condom up and threw it away into the bin. 

*Ending of smut*

Returning with a towel he cleaned my and his chest up. Coming back from the bathroom he laid next to me, wrapped his arms around me and gave me a kiss. “This was the best I ever had. I really love you. Thank you for trusting me.” “I love you, too. You're are so gentle, how could I not trust you. Now I only want to sleep. Let's rest. Good night, handsome.” “Night love.” He kissed my temple and I closed my eyes and cuddled into Mikey's chest. Letting my sleep wash over me I finally could relax properly.


	9. Pure Horror

Ashton POV

Oh man, what an effort for a fucking project. I started to climb up the tree to get a look into Luke's room. But as soon as I was on the top I realized that I wasn't supposed to see what happened at Luke's. Luke was laying on his back and a girl was hovering over him. She looked pretty but something was definitely off with her. I couldn't put my finger on where I had seen her before but as soon as she pulled Luke into a long kiss, I realized she was the girl from the cafe. What was her name Amy, Aria? No, it was Anny. She started to push Luke's shirt up but he tried to keep her hands away from the hem of his shirt. Once again she pushed him down, what looked to be very forcefully. Luke suddenly closed his eyes and I couldn't determine if it was out of pleasure or hurt. She let her hands travel towards the bottom of her shirt and pulled it off. Her naked side was now facing me and she leaned down and trailed small kisses down Luke's throat. I couldn't take it anymore. As I was about to leave I realized that they weren't alone and Luke's legs weren't free, they were tied up to the bed. Suddenly I saw a shadow moving in the corner of my eye. Something moved out of the dark into the moonlight. A man, the man who visited me before Luke left my apartment so suddenly. From my point I could see his shoulders moving, maybe he was laughing or only talking to him but something inside me was scared. A loud laugh was heard and it frightened me. What was about to happen, should I help or should I stay quite? So many thoughts ran through my head, while I watched the man walking towards the bed. Standing in front of the girl and Luke, he gave Anny a kiss on the cheek and whispered something into her ear whereupon she threw her head back and laughed. Luke, on the other hand, tried to push his upper body up but his efforts came to an end with Anny pushing him down again. A small pocket knife was placed into the not occupied hand from Anny and one last kiss was planted on her cheek. After this, the man left and closed loudly the door behind him. The door was slammed so hard that I shrieked at the sudden noise but I immediately covered my mouth with my hand. I really hope no one has noticed me. 

Luke's front door opened and another man left the house, I think it was Luke's father but I wasn't sure, I only hoped he couldn't see me. He walked to the end of the front porch and looked around. I tried to make myself as small as possible and pressed my back further into the tree. To my relieve he shrugged and went back into the house but once again turned around just before he closed the door behind him. For what felt an eternity, I didn't move a single muscle, I just stayed pressed against the tree trying to keep my breath even. While I tried to stay calm, Anny was moving her hips on Luke's crotch but Luke tried to scoot away from her. Nevertheless, she kept him firmly pressed into the mattress. He wiggled underneath her for a few more seconds but gave up with turning his head away from her towards my direction. To get a closer look I dared to move but I really shouldn't have done this. Luke's eyes were red and he had a purple bruise on his cheek. Oh boy, I felt my heart ache and I never thought that I was capturable of feeling something like this for him. My heart broke even more as Anny put the pocket knife on his cheek and slowly moved it down his throat but it only left a red line behind. His eyes shot open and I moved at the sudden movement. His eyes suddenly found mine and I couldn't take my eyes off him. We stared at each other and it seemed like he was trying to tell me to stay quiet. The new pain in his eyes made me look for the cause of it and as I let my eyes travel down his body, I could see Anny who just cut his collarbone. The blood she drew wasn't much and it definitely would not leave a scar behind but it looked awful painful. My breath was shaky and I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. What the hell is wrong with me? Just in time, I looked up again to see that Luke himself had no emotion in his eyes. The pain wasn't there, he only starred at me and I now realized he had almost the same expression, a week ago or whenever we would mess with him. Noticing me staring at him he nodded and it seemed like he was trying to comfort me with a small smile that was more a grim than a comforting gesture. I closed my eyes and missed what happened next. Anny suddenly slapped him and caught his jaw in a tight grip. With one fast movement, she tore on his face to make him look at her. As Luke was looking at her she said something and started to tie up his hands to the headboard of the bed. He struggled, trying to push her away to slap her but nothing worked. Once she had him tied up, Anny got up and walked towards the window. She looked around and I focused on her movement, suddenly she laughed said something and opened the window. Now I was able to climb into the room if I want to but I would have to wait until she left the room. Anny was now leaning out of the window and said: "Hmm Luke I think someone is here, oh no wait who would, you have no friends but I think I will send Rob to search if he can manage to find someone." She left the window open and left the room. Luke turned his head to me and said quietly: "Ashton leave I will be okay don't put yourself in danger." I shook my head to let him know that I wouldn't leave him. "Don't be an idiot. Why do you care now? You never cared before why now? Fucking hell, leave you asshole!!!!" What the fuck is happening now? He turned his head way from me and the anger I felt before this whole project returned. Laughing I climbed down the tree and whipped the tears away. I walked towards my car and was about to open the door when I felt a sharp pain in my head and my view went black.

Luke POV  
I couldn't stand seeing Ashton so sad because of me. He had to go to keep himself safe but it was never my attention to hurt him. He was supposed to feel so angry that he would leave and never come looking for me. Once I heard the branches crack I let the tears stream down my face. Why does it hurt so much that he actually left me? I could hear Anny talking downstairs to my brother but didn't dare to listen what they were saying. "This is all my fault," I mumbled. He went after me because I left his place and refused to tell him what happens. I choose to keep quiet because I knew it wouldn't change anything. I was already fucked up he shouldn't feel the burden like I do. I don't want him to be hurt because of me. How selfish of me to think he could help me. Blinded by a woman I met in a club only because she was nice towards me. I feel used and Ashton is not the cause of this feeling, I did it myself. Turning my head to the window I watched the light of a flashlight flicker in the darkness and was suddenly aware of what Anny and the others had planned. I really thought I could love Anny, she would be the first person in years I had a crush on. The last time it happened to me he ... I mean she was mean to me afterward and left me alone with my dark thoughts. Why did they all leave me? Am I such a terrible person? Do I really deserve this? I guess so. Suddenly the door downstairs was slammed shut and a grunt was heard. Another door was forcefully shut downstairs and right afterward footsteps were heard coming towards my room. My door opened and Ashton was pushed inside with his hand tied up behind his back. My brother threw him on the floor and left me screaming behind. A minute late he came back and put a cloth in front of my mouth so I could barely breathe and also wasn't able to say a word. He laughed and left the room. Ashton laid on the floor unconscious a cut was on his temple and blood was dripping down his face onto the floor. I didn't know what to do because I couldn't move a single muscle. He was near my bed and if I wasn't tied up I could reach for his head but Anny had tied my hands up. I sighed and waited for Ashton to wake up. Almost an hour passed until Ashton got his consciousness back. He grunted and I turned my head towards him. He looked up and his eyes were filled with anger but once he saw me his expression changed to fear. "Luke... what the hell man, what happened to you? What is his about you that they had to take me?", he asked and I felt so bad. I had no clue why they had taken him he didn't do anything. With guilt, I turned my head up again and looked at the ceiling. Now I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. The tears made their way slowly down my face and Ashton suddenly noticed that I wouldn't answer him. "Oh no don't cry. I am sorry that your life is so fucked up." Even when he is tied up and in this mess, he is still a douchebag. I don't know why I feel bad for him. I know I don't deserve pity from him and I don't want him in this but now it happened. "What the hell Luke, what is wrong here?" I looked at him with anger, did he not see that I couldn't speak? Was he so ignorant and didn't notice the elephant in the room? "Oh dammit, you cannot talk your gagged. Can you move your face towards me?" I looked at him questioningly but tried to move as near as possible towards the edge. He pushed himself up and scooted backward towards my bed. He leaned forward and could reach for the gag six times until he finally succeeded. He turned around again and tried to push himself up to sit on my bed but got interrupted by my mother opening the door. "I see you are with us again. Enjoyed your little nap? I hope so because now it's time for business." She walked over to my window and closed the blinds. No light was coming in now. We were in the dark but she quickly turned on a light in the far corner. It was a barely functioning lamp. The light was only bright enough for me to see my feet at the bottom of the bed. "Now listen boys. I know for a fact that my Lukey here is a faggot but hasn't realized it. You on the other had, has. I want you to turn my son gay and if you succeed I will let you go. You will not have to worry about Luke anymore, he will be long gone by then." I looked scared at Ashton who was speechless blinking at my mother. "You want me to do what? That cannot be serious. I don't want to do anything with him.", he looked at me with so much disgust that I wanted to throw up right there and then. My mother indeed was laughing at Ashton and called for my brother and father. Both came a few seconds later and pulled Ashton up to his feet and pushed him down on my bed right on top of me. His face was inches away from mine and I had to turn my head to stop myself from crying. "Untie me I don't want to be so close to him he is not normal. You all are so fucked up.", with Ashton screams they left the room and locked it behind them. "You fucking idiot Luke. Why haven't you told me what a fucked up human being you are I would have told the man immediately where you were hiding." I couldn't believe what I heard. He was so mean, I knew that he was an ass but this was fucking too much. Even if I was a fuck up, I definitely didn't deserve to be treated like this from someone who bullied me. "You know what Ashton, I think you should have done it. I told you to leave me alone, I told you that I would change partners. I left you because I knew what consequences were to come but you had to follow me. Now, look at what you have done. You bully me and bully me. You normally wouldn't care if I had bruises or were dead, why now, why did you decide to come now?" I turned my head towards him and looked him into this beautiful hazel eyes. I could see guilt behind the hate and was surprised as a tear ran down his cheek. "I fucking hate your guts, Hemmings. I hate you so much." He weight was pressing me into my mattress and breathing got more difficult as time passed. Suddenly I felt really light headed and my vision got blurry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading I hope I will be able to update soon  
> Love you all


	10. Agreement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,  
> I know that it takes me so long to update but I just finished my A-levels and now I am off to Australia for work and travel. I am staying a whole year and I really hope that I am able to write a bit.  
> Maybe some of you can recommend some cities and sights that one has to visit while staying in Australia, feel free to write me on twitter @LukeH_yourecute 
> 
> Now without further ado here is the next chapter.

3rd person POV

Luke faded and Ashton didn't know what to do. It was never his intention to suffocate Luke with his weight or being so mean but Ashton couldn't help it. "LUKE can you hear me? You are such an idiot. Come on open your fucking eyes." Ashton sighed and put his head down onto Lukes shoulder which was covered in a dark gray shirt. As he took a deep breath Luke groaned and blinked a few times. "Oh gosh, you're still here. I thought I was only dreaming but as it seems it all really happened. We need to figure something out. I know you really have better things to do but you cannot leave and I cannot kick you out so we are in this shit together. If you still want to swear at me do it now or shut up. Got it?" Ashton nodded. "Now do you want to leave your head there or do you want to look me in the eyes?" "I want to move away but I can't but I also can't keep my head up for so long. Believe me, I would prefer to look you in the eyes from a distance but I cannot. By the way, you smell like cigarettes and cheap buzz." A dry laugh escaped Luke's mouth but he shut it immediately. "Funny. So what should we do? It's obvious you cannot turn me gay and I don't want you to. Now I know you want to leave and run to the police but if you do so I am dead." "And why should I care that your dead if I go to the police? This is kidnapping and I will go and file a report against your whole family including you if I have to. And why should I turn you gay you are already gay as hell, you're even gayer than I am. No call you folks I want to make a deal." Luke couldn't believe what a prick Ashton was. It didn't matter to him what would happen to others as long as his ass gets saved. Suddenly Luke got a sick feeling in his stomach. "You make me so sick Ashton you're disgusting. I hate you so much." Ashton took a deep breath and tried to keep the tears from falling down. He didn't want Luke to know how overwhelming this situation was for him and the only thing he could do was insulting Luke with mean comments. To be honest Ashton didn't want to pull away from Luke. The smell of Luke made him feel warm inside like some kind of home and the worst part of smelling home was, it did hurt even more hearing Luke say that he hated him. "I don't care if you hate me. I don't need you to love, like or appreciate me so call your parents." "MUM DAD ASHTON WANTS TO TALK", Luke screamed and made Ashton shiver. 

A few minutes late the door got pushed open and Luke's parents stumbled into the room with a smug expression. "That was quicker than expected he must feel the connection with you." "I think I have to interrupt you there. I didn't turn Luke gay and I think I cannot do it either. I don't feel the connection he is ugly and smells disgusting and don't get me started on his personality. I don't want to be here I will call the cops as soon as I am free and then you will go down you all." "Now now look at this Luke you found yourself a fighter like you. But the differences are he doesn't look gay he is pretty hot and he is not broken. You broke Luke it wasn't easy but you did and something tells me this one is even harder to break. What a fun time ahead of us." Luke's father turned to his wife and pushed passed her. Luke's mother started to talk while walking towards the door. "Oh before I forget, Ashton we borrowed your phone and told your friends that you're sick. Something also caught my eye. A text to some girl named Lauren where you confessed that you were... " but before she could finish the sentence Ben called for her to come down.  
She laughed and locked the door behind her. Ashton felt like throwing up. She couldn't possibly have read that if so he was in so much shit. He had to do everything to keep his secret from going public. It was so exhausting and tiring he didn't even realize he started to cry. "Are you really crying right now? I thought you were unbreakable." But Ashton didn't care anymore no one was able to see him and who would believe Luke, no one would. With every tear that escaped Ashton's eyes, his breath got shorter and soon he was hiccupping and gasping for air. Luke suddenly got worried. He had never seen Ashton fucking Irwin cry because of a random message to a girl. What should he do, should he comfort Ashton? Feeling the hot tears wetting his shirt his heart broke. Luke suddenly realized Ashton was as vulnerable as everyone else but also that he felt something for this boy. "Ash it's okay. How bad could it be? She will never tell a soul because she knows no one of importance. Calm down crying doesn't work believe me I tried so many times." "Shut up I am in this mess because of you. Can you just do what they want and kill yourself." "Believe me I tried this as well but something keeps me here", Luke whispered so Ashton couldn't hear him but because Ashton was so close he understood everything. That he was surprised would be a lie. He had seen him change into this empty Luke, he made it worse, Ashton himself encouraged Luke to end his life. He felt so sorry for him but didn't want to show it.  
"I think you're right Ashton. I am going to tell them that I am gay tomorrow morning and you can leave. Everything will be peachy again. You will not have to worry about me only about your upcoming game." Luke closed his eyes and felt his brain shutting down. He was exhausted by the old feelings he tried suppress so bad but Ashton had to ruin everything. Both boys fell into a restless sleep trying to suppress their feelings

Waking up, Ashton was confused where he was and why he had the feeling that someone was watching him. Opening his eyes Ashton was met with blond hair and blue eyes staring at him. Luke was woken up by his mother telling him that Calum had called to cancel his tutor session on Saturday but he didn't really trust her, so he stayed awake to make up a plan how to escape this situation. He once again got caught up by Ashton's beauty. Luke knew that Ashton was attractive but having him basically on top of him and peaceful asleep made Ashton even more likable. Now Luke understood why so many people liked Ashton. Ashton wasn't a dick to everyone only to Luke and to ... no, only Luke. A long time had passed since they were some kind of friends but Luke never understood what made Ashton decide to bully him. It all went downhill when his parents lost their jobs and were forced to start working late or long hours. With every day that passed they drank more and more and suddenly Luke became their punching bag. He didn't have a girlfriend at the time and was spending almost every hour of the day writing music and never meeting friends. His parents assumed that he was an introvert and gay. They never showed homophobia before but Luke soon learned that his dad's new boss was gay and he caused him to lose his job. Luke's mom only lost her job because she tried to help her husband in comforting him with liquor. She began drinking and got drunk while working. One day she got caught drinking and lost her job. Since then she never smiled at Luke like a mother should smile at her son.  
When Luke realized that he couldn't do a thing for his parents he changed. Everyone suddenly seemed to notice him even more even though he wanted to be a nobody. His parents started to buy him colorful cloth, polo shirts, and chinos. He wore them to keep them satisfied but it only caused new problems. Ashton and his friends suddenly started to bully him and call him funny names. At the beginning Ashton was nice to him he asked him questions and helped him, he even invited Luke to dinner but Luke declined his offer because he was insecure. Ashton didn't look hurt but his mood changed. A week later Ashton tried again to invite him to a party but Luke once again declined his offer. After that Ashton never tried again, he only asked him for help in some subjects but this changed soon. On one day Ashton asked for help on the next Ashton was forcing Luke to do his work. Overnight Ashton became his worst bully. On the day before Ashton asked Luke if he was coming to their football match and to dinner if they would win but he told him that he wasn't planning on coming because he had to stay home. Ashton only laughed it off and they said their goodbyes. What Luke remembered from the night was he and his cousin were eating dinner in a small restaurant because Luke had enough from the fighting at home. Bill offered to take Luke to his favorite restaurant which was near his school. He had totally forgotten about the match so Luke was surprised to see almost the whole football team coming in for some celebratory drinks after the successful match. Ashton friends were there but Ashton was missing. It was weird to see the team without their best player. And after that Ashton used him and bullied him like no one did.  
With a sigh, Luke came back from his flashback to the reality. Ashton on top of him was suddenly awake and was staring at Luke.  
"Why are you staring at me? Did I drool?" his morning was was deep and raspy and Luke got almost turned on by his voice. "I only got caught up in my thoughts sorry." For Ashton Luke's voice was like honey. So sweet and hot. It was even deeper and the breathy then the voice from his last hook up after a successful night. Ashton really struggled to keep his cool but came to the conclusion that it didn't really work if he had such a sexy young man underneath him. Distracting himself and Luke from his semi-hard one, he asked, "What time is it? Did someone call, come in or, find us?" Luke froze as he noticed something poking his leg and his body's reaction to this something. He couldn't believe himself or Ashton. Who on earth would get a boner from lying with his enemy, tied to a bed with their abusive parents in the next room? "It... It's 10:41 am." Luke looked away and was happy that Ashton seemed to be as embarrassed as he was. Both started to think about horrible things until their boners went down. Soon they noticed it wasn't worth it to hope for something to happen. Luke got caught up in his thoughts about his future and some songtext ideas and Ashton made a decision he knew, he would regret.

Time passed and soon the sun started setting again. No one came in, no one brought them something to eat or drink but both were alright with it. They both were used to "forgetting" about food or liquids used to empty stomachs and headaches.  
Thursday night meant they had missed Music and tomorrow would be the last day to prove that they could be partners to Mrs. Allison. They were supposed to meet her after school for their special assignment. "Oh fuck we have a problem," Luke mumbled. "What is now the matter? Do you need to use the toilet? Do I smell bad? Is the princess uncomfortable?" "No, we have to meet Mrs. Allison tomorrow after school. What if she will come looking for us if we don't show up. I ... I don't want her to see this." Ashton's eyes widen and his heartbeat sped up. "Call you bloody parents and explain. I don't want to fail because of you and your fucked up life." Once again Luke became aware of how much of an ass Ashton really was but he knew that it wouldn't make a difference if he told Ashton that.  
Before Luke even got his chance to call for his parents Ben opened the door and walked into the room. "I have something to drink for you Ashton. I know that you're a nice guy and you got in this mess by accident. I am sorry my poor excuse of a brother got you into this." Ashton couldn't still believe Ben was the same Ben he had a crush on. "I don't want some water from you I want you to let me go I promise to not go to the cops. I will even help you turn him gay and show the whole world what a fuck up he is. I only want you to let me go and untie me because it's fucking uncomfortable." Ben laughed. "And why should I believe you? What assures me you will not run to the next police station and tell the cops?" "Isn't it obvious? I hate his guts. He is disgusting and no one would believe me. We also have to go to a teacher tomorrow to prove her that we can work as partners and I don't hate his guts, so I will not get kicked out of school and my football team." Ben looked surprised and Luke's heart broke once again. His whole body ached at the thought of Ashton negotiation with his brother. "I will tell my parents to come up here." Ben left the room and Luke turned his head. "Luke I-I am sorry. But I want a life, I have a lot to lose here and I do not really care what happens to you." Suddenly the door opened again and Lukes mother entered to room. "I've heard you want to make an agreement? What changed your mind? Your secret?" Ashton swallowed thickly and nodded. "I just want to leave. I have so much to lose and this loser here has coast me a lot already. Because of him, we have to get a special assignment in music class. Now if you let me go I promise you I will help you turn him gay and show the world what a fuck up he his. I will not go to the police and I will tell Mrs. Allison that Luke is ill and cannot come to school for a few weeks. Like this, she will not worry and he is excused." Luke's mom tried to suppress a laugh. "That was faster than I expected. You do really hate him, don't you?. I will let you go if you shut up about what has happened here and you don't have to turn him gay anymore. He is fucked up enough. Don't tell anyone what you have seen here otherwise I am going to tell your secret. Got it, son?" Ashton nodded and was relieved at the same time. Luke's mother untied him and pulled him away from her son. "Now Ashton we have to talk. Come with me downstairs. Andrew, he is all yours." Luke looked at Ashton who started to follow his mother out of the room. Ashton left without looking back and a tall man came in. He closed the door behind him and closed the window.

Ashton walked downstairs with a bad feeling. He never wanted it to end like this but it was best for him to leave Luke. Luke meant only trouble and he couldn't use trouble right now. "So Ashton please take a seat. We have to talk." He sat down and looked scared around. "You will make Luke fall for you. You will not tell him about this deal. He should believe, you like him and you do care after all. Make up some story that you only did it to save him. We will let him go to school on Monday. We will tell him we got a call from Mrs. Collins telling us someone told the main office Luke wasn't in school for a few day's and wasn't seen on the weekend. He will assume you called and make sure you text him a few times when you got out. You have his number right?" Ashton only shook his head. "I believe you creative enough to get this sorted out. Now if he falls for you, you have to break his heart make him suffer, embarrass him and make sure many people see it. You will also report to us any progress you make. We give you a month. If you succeed you will not have to worry about Luke and your reputation anymore, we also delete any evidence that you were ever involved with Luke. But if you fail we will tell your secret, we will make your life a living hell. Now, what do you say?" Ashton nodded. "I get it. Make Luke fall for me than break his heart. Most importantly don't tell anyone about this deal." Both parents nodded and walked him towards the door. Passing the staircase Ashton heard a distant cry but shut it out to keep from crying himself. He didn't want Luke to fall for him but he told himself it was better than getting exposed. He also told himself he didn't want Luke to fall for him because it would be embarrassing for Ashton and would ruin his reputation other than because he felt bad he had to break Luke's already broken heart.  
While Ashton's talk Luke was scared for his life. He had never seen this Andrew guy before. He seemed like someone how would break every single bone in your body if you would disobey. "Now Luke tell me what should I do with you? Should I break a few ribs or would you like a broken nose?" Luke only turned his head towards the ceiling and let the tears roll down his cheeks. "Oh poor baby, really thinks that will help in some kind of way." Andrew came closer until he was right beside Lukes bed and was hovering over him. He leaned down and whispered into his ear: "I have seen you play in the club, do they know you earn enough money to run away?" To say Luke was surprised would be an understatement. "You did what? I don't know what you mean. I have never played in Music 4 U because I cannot do shit let alone sing or play guitar." The man laughed and sat down on the edge. "I never said where I had seen you or what you played there. You cannot believe how surprised I was when I saw who you were and to be honest, I almost didn't recognize you. You look so different when you on stage. Does Ben never notice you on stage?" Luke sighed,"I only take the days when he doesn't work or sneak in before his shift ends to set up. Why are you telling me this you're clearly not here to talk to me about my music?" The man got up and walked towards the door and opened it to look if someone was listening in on them. He closed it again and sat on the chair on Luke's desk. "I know you parents and I know what you endure in school. I have a heart even if you cannot believe it but I care a bit and I don't like hurting you. You look like a fucking mess I think you had enough but you have to understand I have to make you cry otherwise you parents will get suspicious. Don't you worry I will not break anything let me just hit you? One small punch in the eye to form a bruise and I am done." "I guess do whatever you need to do." He got up and walked towards Luke. As fast as the punch was delivered he wasn't even able to react to it. "Now we're done. I really hope this bruise is enough to keep them satisfied." Luke laughed a dry sobbed leaving his lips. "You don't have to worry about bruises. Got beaten up enough you cannot really tell which are fresh which is old. Should I cry and sob?" Andrew nodded and walked towards Luke's desk picking up Luke's songbook. "Can I read them?" Luke nodded while freeing the first few tears. Once the first one rolled down he couldn't stop. Everything wanted to get out. All the mean comments Ashton made, the hate he had for himself for letting Ashton see him vulnerable and for almost falling for Ashton. His parents hated him, Calum was already sick of him and Ashton hated him. He betrayed Luke, he used Luke and Ashton did only care about himself. Luke was so foolish to think, only if it was for one second, Ashton would give a shit about him and would help him to get out of this. He cried and cried until he felt his throat getting dry and his eyelids heavy. Andrew watched the boy crying himself to sleep with a sad expression. He liked hurting people but only if they were able to defend themselves and built up a fight. H didn't like how broken the boy was and Andrew couldn't put his finger on what had happened that this boy broke like he did. It couldn't only be his daily beat up, there must be another reason for this why his songs were like a dark ocean of hate and pain. Andrew made his way towards the bed to maybe loosen the robes a bit but what he was looking at were not red marks from the rope. The lines were red and almost bleeding. Lines from a razor blade. Andrew backed away and felt like throwing up, he couldn't believe it. He had never seen self-harm before only heard about it and suddenly he felt week. This boy was stronger than him, he kept his secret well hidden, no one ever played with the thought Luke would hurt himself like this. They all thought if he would like to die he would have already. His parents never said a word about suicide attempts and Andrew felt horrible for almost hurting the boy. If he hadn't recognized him he would have beaten the living hell out of him without a second glance. Now he was relieved he had taken a second glance. This boy made him rethink his whole job. When did he start making his way down this path of violence? He couldn't remember but he knew now it was time to retire and settle down properly somewhere else somewhere nobody knew him.  
Ben brought Ashton home to ensure he wouldn't head straight to the police. When Ashton entered his apartment he went straight into the bathroom to empty his already empty stomach. He felt so guilty for leaving Luke like this but it was the best, however, he was more worried about his so called task. How should he convince Luke he so suddenly adored him? He would lose all his friends his reputation and probably get thrown out of the football team. Lying in bed Ashton couldn't fall asleep he rethought every decision he made today.

The next morning Ashton knew he wouldn't see Luke in school today. Getting ready, made him realize he had to face Mrs. Allison on his own today and he was definitely not ready for that. Calum was the only one how asked him if he had seen Luke today and Ashton only shook his head and walked away. While lunch his other friends caught up with Luke's absence and started to ask Ashton questions about their 'project'. Questions like "Did you beat him up so bad? or Did he embarrass himself so badly in front of you?" Ashton only mumbled an answer and drank his water. The whole day passed to slow for Ashton's liking but as soon the final bell rang he wished for the day to continue.  
Mrs. Allison was already waiting in her classroom for them to arrive. As Ashton entered the room she was surprised to see only Ashton. "Hello Ashton, where is Luke? Has he forgotten about our meeting today?" "Hello, no he hasn't but as I last checked he was sick. He wasn't in school today he might have caught the flue when he arrived dripping wet at my front door." The teacher looked at him in suspicion but nodded. "Alright please tell him to get well soon. Now my special assignment for you tow. As you know you all have a month to prepare the song until we're going to present them. I want you to present them the week before Christmas. It's going to be the last one because I know you both are almost the best in class. Luke is such a great musician and his song texts are so emotional and deep. I really hope you can appreciate that he gave you his song book." Ashton didn't know what to say because all Luke did was write horrible text and all he said was that he couldn't sing. "Are you sure, all he says is he cannot sing and if I am asking him for ideas he only rambles nonsense." Ashton looked at his teacher in surprise as she started to laugh. "You do realize that he's insecure and feels misunderstood but you have his journal with his song texts. Give them a read and you will get it believe me. I stole a glance once and was amazed by his talent. He never noticed that he handed in an assignment with his lyrics written on the back. It was beautiful really beautiful." Ashton's bag suddenly felt very heavy as he remembered the book Luke had given him. He must have given him his textbook by accident. "Now your task has changed a bit. I want you to write a second song. For example, one song in which you show what makes you different from each other and the other one about something you have in comment. Figure something out but they have to be different from each other like I said figure out what makes Luke Luke and what makes you Ashton. Do you have any questions?" Ashton only shook his head, said goodbye and left.  
Although he really didn't want to believe what Mrs. Allison said, he opened the textbook right in his car. He couldn't wait until he got home, he had to understand what was going on. Opening the first page he was puzzled as he saw Coby's number written down under important numbers. Turning page after page Ashton felt even more guilty it was like reading young Luke's thoughts. On one page he noticed a small blood stain. Ashton already knew what happened on this date, he didn't know what exactly happen but on this day Luke had changed. Taking a deep breath Ashton started to read the first lines: "Scars on my palms, blood on my knuckles, it makes me feel alive. Heart on my back surrounded by iron chains" Ashton couldn't read any further. He really couldn't and he only got to the fourth page. Leaning forward he put his head against the steering wheel and took a deep breath. He could do this, he was strong, he could make Luke fall for him without feeling sorry, he could do it. With this in mind, he started the engine and drove towards his apartment complex.  
The first thing Ashton noticed was he had 1 missed call from Coby and 4 missed calls and text from Calum. He called Coby first and was relieved when hearing he didn't have to play on Saturday. Next in line was Calum's phone calls. After one ring Calum already picked up. "Ash finally. I have to tell you something you will never believe what I heard it's about Luke."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading


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